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Updated: May 23, 2025
But I felt disgusted with myself, and drew away from their lascivious frenzies, and gave them ten Louis to get rid of them. The Astrodi fell on her knees, blessed me, thanked me, called me her god; and the Lepi wept and laughed for joy at the same time; and thus for a quarter of an hour I was treated to a scene of an extraordinary kind.
At this the impudent Astrodi laughed, and in the hearing of several ladies waiting for their carriages told me that her friend might be sure of my presence, as she would not let me go before the benefit night. "Give him sixteen tickets," she added. I was ashamed to refuse, and gave her two louis.
I would have given ten louis to have been able to see the curious sight we must have presented at work. "Now comes my turn," said the Astrodi; "but I don't want you to infringe on the rights of my auditor, so come and look round and see where the path lies. Take that." "What am I to do with this slice of lemon?"
But an Italian who had read and enjoyed the divine Petrarch would naturally wish to see the place made divine by the poet's love for Laura. I went to the theatre, where I saw the vice-legate Salviati, women of fashion, neither fair nor foul, and a wretched comic opera; but I neither saw Astrodi nor any other actor from the Comedie Italienne at Paris.
I will show you how it is." With these words the impudent hussy proceeded to exhibit me, and I let her do what she liked. "That's just what I should have thought," cried the Lepi; "it could never be done." "Well, he is rather big," answered the Astrodi; "but there's a cure for everything, and he will be content with half-measures."
At last the Astrodi told me that they were ready, and when I looked the Lepi took up all my attention. In spite of her double deformity she was a handsome woman. My glances frightened her, for she was doubtless taking part in an orgy for the first time.
Then in a lower voice the Astrodi said, "After the show we will come and sup with you, but on the condition that you ask nobody else, as we want to be alone." In spite of a feeling of anger, I thought that such a supper-party would be amusing, and as no one in the town knew me I resolved to stay in the hope of enjoying a hearty laugh.
After the Astrodi had thanked me, the hunchbacked girl turned towards me, and with a smile that stretched from ear to ear and displayed at least twenty-four exquisite teeth, she said that she hoped I would honour her by being present at her benefit. "If I don't leave before it comes off, I will," I replied.
"Where is the famous Astrodi?" said I, to a young man sitting by me, "I have not seen her yet." "Excuse me, she has danced and sang before your eyes." "By Jove, it's impossible! I know her perfectly, and if she has so changed as not to be recognized she is no longer herself."
Supper came up, and I had the pleasure of seeing the two nymphs eat like starving savages, and drink still better. When the Hermitage had done its work the Astrodi proposed that we should cast off the clothes which disfigure nature. "Certainly," said I; "and I will turn away while you are getting ready." I went behind the curtains, took off my clothes, and went to bed with my back to them.
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