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Updated: May 10, 2025
"'Now then Ginger, ses Sam bustling up with Peter Russet, 'wot's all this? Wot yer doing? "'It's the thief, ses Ginger. 'It's our lodger. You keep still! he ses shaking the man. 'D'ye hear? "Peter gave a shout of joy, and stood by to help. "'Nonsense! ses old Sam, turning pale. 'You've been drinking, Ginger. This comes of standing you 'arf-pints. "'It's him right enough, ses Ginger.
"'I started to p'int out one or two things to 'im that he seemed to 'ave forgot, but 'e wouldn't listen. He was so excited that he didn't seem to know wot 'e was doing, and arter he 'ad got three more 'arf-pints waiting for me, all in a row on the counter, I 'ad to ask 'im whether he thought I was there to do conjuring tricks, or wot? "'There was a letter waiting for me in the office, he ses.
I 'ad just come on dooty, and afore I could ask 'im wot was the matter he 'ad got me in the 'Bull's Head' and stood me three 'arf-pints, one arter the other. "'I'm ruined, he ses in a 'usky whisper; 'I'm done for. Why was wimmen made? Wot good are they? Fancy 'ow bright and 'appy we should all be without 'em.
He stood Jack three or four arf-pints afore 'e told 'im his plan, and Jack was so pleased with it that he wanted to start at once, but Charlie persuaded 'im to wait. "And don't you spare me, mind, out o' friendship," ses Charlie, "because the blacker you paint me the better I shall like it."
After my pore dear wife's death I'm to marry again; a young woman with money and stormy brown eyes." Mrs. Dowson sprang from her chair and stood over him quivering with passion. "How dare you?" she gasped. "You you've been drinking." "I've 'ad two arf-pints," said her husband, solemnly. "I shouldn't 'ave 'ad the second only I felt so miserable. I know I sha'n't be 'appy with a young woman." Mrs.
"'Now then Ginger, ses Sam bustling up with Peter Russet, 'wot's all this? Wot yer doing? "'It's the thief, ses Ginger. 'It's our lodger. You keep still! he ses shaking the man. 'D'ye hear? "Peter gave a shout of joy, and stood by to help. "'Nonsense! ses old Sam, turning pale. 'You've been drinking, Ginger. This comes of standing you 'arf-pints. "'It's him right enough, ses Ginger.
'From Miss Lamb she's in London. She's coming to pay me a surprise visit this evening I know who'll get the surprise. Mrs. Plimmer's coming too. "I gave 'im one of my 'arf-pints and made 'im drink it. He chucked the pot on the floor when he 'ad done, in a desprit sort o' way, and 'im and the landlord 'ad a little breeze then that did 'im more good than wot the beer 'ad.
If people do you a kindness it's generally because they want to get something out of you; same as a man once a perfick stranger wot stood me eight 'arf-pints becos I reminded 'im of his dead brother, and then borrered five bob off of me.
The more 'e thought of it the nicer and warmer it seemed, and, arter a struggle between his pride and a few 'arf-pints, he got 'is good temper back agin and went off 'ome smiling. "The room was dark when 'e got there, and, arter standing listening a moment to Ginger and Peter snoring, he took off 'is coat and sat down on 'is bed to take 'is boots off.
He felt a bit dull at fust, but arter he had 'ad two or three 'arf-pints 'e began to take a brighter view of things. He found a very nice, cosey little public-'ouse he hadn't been in before, and, arter getting two and threepence and a pint for the 'arf-dollar with Ginger's tooth-marks on, he began to think that the world wasn't 'arf as bad a place as people tried to make out.
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