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Mehan's bit of a girl, and she's busy readying the rooms; and so, Miss Feemy, if you'd jist let Biddy slip up for the afthernoon, you know Katty could be doing for you down here, and then, Miss, I'd be made intirely." "Well, Mary, I suppose she must go up then; one thing's certain, you can't be getting married every day."
'I know 'tis genooyine because it is an ol' dhress patthern used be th' impress. It says: 'Oscar Woo, care iv himsilf, annywhere: Dear Woo, brother iv th' moon, uncle iv th' sun, an' roommate iv th' stars, dear sir: Yours iv th' eighth day iv th' property moon rayceived out iv th' air yesterdah afthernoon or to-morrow, an' was glad to note ye ar-re feelin' well.
"Aye, yestherday afthernoon, sor, an' they've been raymanded, whativer that may mane it ought to have been rayprimanded, I'm thinkin', an' a cat-o'-nine-tails, if they had their desarts till next Tuesday!
'Th' throuble with the rich, he says, 'is this, that whin a rich man has a perfectly nachral scrap with his beloved over breakfast, she stays at home an' does nawthin' but think about it, an' he goes out an' does nawthin but think about it, an' that afthernoon they're in their lawyers' office, he says.
He niver see such a stylish woman as she was whin she turned out iv a Sundah afthernoon in her horse an' buggy. He'd think to himsilf, 'If I iver can win that I'm settled f'r life, an' iv coorse he did. 'Twas a gran' weddin'; manny iv th' guests didn't show up at wurruk f'r weeks." "O'Leary done well, an' she was a good wife to him.
So be th' time th' dillygates got to Europe it was: 'James, if thim br-rave but misguided Dutch appears, squirt th' garden hose on thim. I'll see th' British embassadure this afthernoon. Ye see, Hinnissy, 'twas ol' Kruger's play to keep on winnin' battles till th' dillygates had their say.
"'Deed no, not at all, says I. So he filled my cans an' then says he: 'I would give you a nice wee cow if I cud carry thim home fur ye. "'It's not home I'm goin', says I, 'but to an' oul neighbor who can't carry it herself. "'So much th' betther fur me, says he, an' off he walked between the cans. At Mary McKinstry's doore that afthernoon we stood till the shadows began t' fall."
He was on horseback; an', Hinnissy, if dollars was made out iv Babbit metal, an' horses was worth sixty-sivin cints a dhrove, ye cudden't buy a crupper." "Well," said Mr. Hennessy, "annyhow, I proved me hathred iv capital." "So ye did," said Mr. Dooley. "So ye did. An' capital this afthernoon showed its hatred iv ye. Ye ought to match blisters to see which hates th' worst.
"An' there ye ar-re. Two opinions." "I see on'y wan," said Mr. Hennessy. "What do ye raaly think?" "I think," said Mr. Dooley, "if people wanted to be divoorced I'd let thim, but I'd give th' parents into th' custody iv th' childher. They'd larn thim to behave." "Hogan has been in here this afthernoon, an' I've heerd more scandal talked thin I iver thought was in the wurrld."
"Th' nex' day th' army moved on Punch; an' Gin'ral Miles marched into th' ill-fated city, preceded be flower-girls sthrewin' r-roses an' geranyums befure him. In th' afthernoon they was a lawn tinnis party, an' at night the gin'ral attinded a banket at th' Gran' Palace Hotel. At midnight he was serenaded be th' Raymimber th' Maine Banjo an' Mandolin Club.
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