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He had admired with the most cordial admiration the courage, the noble self-repression, which Hamilton had displayed since the hour of his great disappointment.
Then, starting toward the door at Wen Ho's announcement of "Dinner, lady," she was quite suddenly overwhelmed by shyness. From head to foot for the first time in all her life she was acutely conscious of herself. On that evening Prosper began to talk. The unnatural self-repression he had practiced gave way before the flood of his sociability.
"It is not wrong," said Noel, "don't think it. Ease your heart by speaking, if it comforts you. Try to remember what we are to each other think of me as your brother." Thus invited, he hoped she would speak freely, but she caught her lip again, as if in the effort of self-repression, and shook her head. Noel was hurt. "Do you not trust me?" he said. "I trust you always," she answered.
For him, the bare husks of life held no allurement; he was one of that virile, human type that rejects the doctrine of sacrifice, denial, and self-repression in this life for the greater glory of God and man's promise of a reward in another life, of which we wot but little and that little not scientifically authenticated.
It was not till he was armed with this permission that Miss Austin even suspected the nature of his hopes: so strong, in this unmannerly boy, was the principle of true courtesy; so powerful, in this impetuous nature, the springs of self-repression. And yet a boy he was; a boy in heart and mind; and it was with a boy's chivalry and frankness that he won his wife.
Had she been a man he would have taken it with vehemence and pleasure; because she was not a man he took it with a careful self-repression but no lack of emphasis. "I will tell you, Madame, why I made confession. It may be that you will not understand, but so it is.
I tried to hide my feelings until I could come to a decision as to what I ought to do." This was satisfactory, provided that his supposition was correct, and his companion could imagine his exercising a good deal of self-repression. "What is your fear?" she asked. "Well, I'm rough and unpolished compared with Nasmyth and the rest, but with her large mind she might overlook that.
What would her godmother think of such an outburst! She must return to the contained self-repression of the time before her visit to the Sphinx surely in this strange land! The Princess Ardácheff's frank face was illuminated with a smile. "She is extremely young," she thought, "in spite of her widowhood, but I like her, and I know we shall be friends."
But then we have a new aspect, one on which, in His sublime self-repression, He very seldom touches viz., its bearing upon Himself; and in that aspect we are taught here to regard our Lord's going as ministering to His exaltation and joy, and therefore as being a source of joy to all His lovers.
Yet Brooks fancied that the long white fingers were trembling, and that the strange quiet of his features was one of intense self-repression. His tone when he spoke again, however, was clear, and almost indifferent.
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