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Now, she was but thirty miles away and it was almost more than human endurance could bear.... Should he turn back even now, ride straight to Kot Ghazi, fall at her feet and say: "I can struggle no longer. Come back to Monksmead and let what will be, be. I have no more courage." And go mad, one day, and kill her? Keep sane, and sully her fair name? On to the hovel.
Many leading questions were put to Auntie Yvette, but, dearly as she would have liked to talk about her charge's romantic trouble, her tongue was tied and she dreaded to let slip any information that might possibly lead to a train of thought connecting Lucille, Dam, and the old half-forgotten scandal of the outcast from Monksmead and Sandhurst.
He said 'I have punished him for being punished. I have added my injustice to that of Fate. Write to him that I ask his pardon and confess my fault. If none of them will do this, I am to inherit Monksmead and part of the money and you are to have a part of the money. If we marry then, we lose everything and it goes to Haddon Berners. Mr. "Come at once, Darling.
I'm going to disappear from Monksmead, now, just like you did, darling, and I'm coming here and I'm going to be a soldier's wife. Can I live with you in your house in barracks, Dammy, or must I live outside, and you come home directly your drill and things are finished?" Dam groaned aloud in hopeless bitterness of soul. "Lucille listen," said he. "I earn one-and tuppence a day. I may not marry.
And yet he had screamed and kicked and cried yes cried as he had shouted that it was under his foot and moving out. Rum! Very rum! On the day that Dam left Monksmead for school Lucille wept till she could weep no more. Life for the next few years was one of intermittent streaks of delirious joy and gloomy grief, vacation time when he was at Monksmead and term time when he was at school.
On his arrival at Monksmead he had been "vetted," as he expressed it, by the Burra-Sahib, the General; and then taken to an attractive place called "the school-room" and there had found Lucille.... "Hullo! Boy," had been her greeting. "What's your name?"
Better to be a gardener at Monksmead, and see her every day, than be the Colonel of a Cavalry Corps and know her to be married to somebody else.... Yes he would come home one of these times from Sandburst or his Regiment and find her engaged to some other fellow. And what then? Well nothing only life would be of no further interest. It was bound to happen. Everybody turned to look at her.
Nobody seemed to have any tents when they left the station for the districts, nor to take any bedding when they went on tour or up-country. A queer, foreign land. But Monksmead was a most magnificent "bungalow" standing in a truly beautiful "compound" wherein the very bhistis and mallis were European and appeared to be second-class sahibs.
It's my turn now;" and Lucille's heart was at rest and very thankful. This was not a temporary "cure". Oh, thank God for her inspiration anent the Sword ... Thank God, thank God!... A beautiful woman, whose face is that of one whose soul is full of peace and joy, passes up the great staircase of the stately mansion of Monksmead.
No he had taken the right line in replying to Lucille that he was getting worse mentally, that no doctor would dream of "vetting" him "sound," that he was not scoundrel enough to come and cause scandal and "talk" at Monksmead, and that he was going to disappear completely from the ken of man, wrestle with himself, and come to her and beg her to marry him directly he was better sufficiently better to "pass the doctor," that is.
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