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Updated: June 22, 2025
"I have passed the last 40 years of my life in the hurry & bustle that must necessarily be attendant on a publick character. I am arrived at the age when some repose is really necessary, & I promised myself a quiet home, & altho' I was sensible, & said so when I married, that I shou'd be superannuated when my wife wou'd be in her full beauty and vigour of youth.
All the Land was like a pleasant Green Meadow diversified by various sorts of Flowers, Fruits, Trees and Herbs; whose very perfumes, saith the Soldier, wou'd keep him alive, were he allowed to dwell always there.
To Bed, Sir! what, by Day-light? for that's hasting on I wou'd not for the World the Night wou'd hide my Blushes but the Day wou'd let me see my self in your Embraces. Sir Feeb. Embraces, in a Fiddlestick; why, are we not married? Let. 'Tis true, Sir, and Time will make me more familiar with you, but yet my Virgin Modesty forbids it. I'll to Diana's Chamber, the Night will come again. Sir Feeb.
Why, know you then who did it? Oh, how I'd be reveng'd upon the Rascal! Sir Feeb. Who is it you suspect? Sir Cau. Alas, I know not whom to suspect, I wou'd I did; but if you cou'd discover him I wou'd so swinge him Sir Feeb. I know him what, do you take me for a Pimp, Sir? Sir Cau. My Watch; I thank you, Sir but why Pimp, Sir? Sir Feeb.
Shou'd I discover this Rascal, he wou'd tell the old Gentleman I was the same that attempted his House to day in Woman's Clothes, and I should be kick'd and beaten most insatiably. Scar. What, Seignior, for a Man of Parts to be impos'd upon, and whip'd through the Lungs here like a Mountebank's Zany for sham Cures Mr. Doctor, I must tell you 'tis not civil. Doct.
Fran. Carlos! what Father of Belzebub sent him hither? a plain case; I'll murder her out of hand. Car. And I wou'd speak to any body, Friend, that belongs to the fair Clara, if you are any of this house. Fran. Only the Cuckold of the house, that's all; my name, Sir, is Francisco; but you, perhaps, are better acquainted with my Wife. Car. Fran. And bring my Wife along with me. Car.
Being then, as aforesaid, sitting alone in the Inclosure, and with an undaunted Courage waiting for a Battle with the Devils, he heard all of a sudden so great a Noise as if all the Earth had been turn'd upside down: And indeed, if all the Men, and all the living creatures on Earth, in the Sea, and Air, had bellowed out together, it seemed to him, they cou'd not make a greater Noise: so that, had he not been protected by Divine Virtue, and happily instructed by the aforesaid Holy man, he wou'd infallibly have lost his Senses.
After a salute on both sides, unwonted murmurs, lilre that of some beast, labouring to get out, proceeded from beneath the master's cabin; upon which, following the sound, we found Eumolpus sitting alone, and in his hand a large scroll of paper that he was filling, even to the margent, with verses; we all were amaz'd to see a man amuse himself with poetry, at a time when he had reason to think each minute wou'd be his last, and having drawn him, malcing a great noise, from his hole, we endeavour'd to recover him from his frenzy; but he was in such a heat to be disturb'd, that "'Sdeath," said he, "let me make an end of this couplet, it finishes the poem;" on which I took hold of the mad man, and order'd the still murmuring poet to be hall'd on shore.
James Ware, he the deponent agreed with a certain Simon Kenton of Kentucky for 1000 Acres of Land about 2 or 3 miles from the big salt spring on Licking, that the sd. Kenton on condition that the sd. Smith would pay him £100 in hand and £100 more when sd. Land was surveyed,... sd. Kenton on his part wou'd have the land surveyed, and a fee Simple made there to.... sd.
Grant our dawb'd faces wou'd keep their colour: Suppose it wou'd not wash off, nor our cloaths stick to the ink, how can we imitate their black swollen lips? the short curl of their hair? the seams on their foreheads? their circular way of treading? their splay feet? or the mode of their beards? an artificial colour rather stains than alters the body; but, if you'll be rul'd by a madman, let's cover our heads, and jump into the sea?"
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