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Updated: June 16, 2025
Now commenced a conflict in my mind, caution pulling me one way, curiosity the other, while a discussion took place between my comrades, Wisky backing caution, Whiskerandos curiosity, and the English rat won the day. So that night off we two scampered together, and without accident or adventure reached the space at the back of the Exchange. Truly I was in a world of wonders!
Wisky led the way, closely followed by Whiskerandos. They moved on so fast that I was in danger of losing sight of my guides, so apt was I to linger on my way to look at the wonders around me. It is a beautiful city, St. Petersburg; at least so it seemed to me in the moonlight.
Under the guidance of Wisky we took up our abode in a Russian house. House did I call it! if ever there was a palace this was one. We established ourselves in the kitchen; a warm, comfortable place we found it, where we had much opportunity for observation, both of the denizens of the place and their various occupations.
"I believe that one pair of hands," said he, "often serve better than a dozen. The Russian proverb says that 'directly' means to-morrow morning, and 'this minute' this day week." With quiet night came our feasting-time, and when the kitchen was deserted by the crowds of servants, Whiskerandos, Wisky, and
Wisky rapidly led the way to a hut, into which with little difficulty we entered, for locks and bars do not keep out rats, nor surly porters refuse them admission. "Is this the father of the Russian fleet!" exclaimed Whiskerandos rather contemptuously, running, audacious rat that he was, along the edge of a boat about thirty feet long.
Picters and magazines! Gawd 'elp the man as hain't nothin' but picters and magazines to 'elp un w'en 'ee's got a devil hinside and a devil houtside a-shovin' and a-drawin' of un down to 'ell. And that's w'ere oi'm a-goin' straight, and yer bloomin' League, wisky or no wisky, can't help me.
The example, moreover, comes from an exalted place, as is known. The whole world is acquainted with that which John Bull does not himself confess, namely, the private history of her whom Indians term 'the old lady of London, given over to vice and drunkenness from her youth Her Majesty Wisky the 1st."
Before all was ready another messenger came to tell Ilia the bearded coachman to put to the horses, for the lady was ready for her drive. It was evident that she had managed to recover from her fainting fit without the aid of the glass of water, a happy thing for one who had the misfortune to keep fifty or sixty servants. Wisky laughed at my look of surprise.
We moved through a deserted market. Here whole lanes are devoted to the sale of a single kind of article. There is the stocking row, the shoe row, the hat row, at which it appeared that a whole nation might have provided covering for head and for feet. "I wish, dear brother," said Wisky, "that your visit had been in the season of winter.
"All this is very curious," observed I, "but still I have little desire to witness it. The long winter must be dreary indeed!" "The Russians are lively fellows," observed Wisky, "and instead of grumbling at dark skies and piercing blasts, they make merry where others would murmur. When winter must perforce be their companion, they oblige the grim old giant to add to their amusements.
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