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Updated: June 15, 2025
"She varies," said the Canon, "between chuckling over your position and wishing that Lalage was safely married with some babies to look after. She says there'll be no peace in Ireland until that happens." "That's an utterly silly scheme. There's nobody here to marry her except Vittie, and I'm perfectly certain his aunts wouldn't let him. He has two aunts.
The profusion was most impressive, and would, I am sure, have struck a chill into the soul of Vittie had he seen it. Here were composed and written the letters which I afterward signed, wonderful letters, which like the witches in Macbeth "paltered in a double sense."
Titherington ignored the second question. "I hope so," he said, "because if she's the sort of girl who gets arrested, she'll be most useful to us. She was quite on for annoying Vittie. She says she's been looking up his speeches and that he's one of the worst liars she ever came across. She's quite right there." "I wish," I said, "that you'd go and bail her out.
That blackguard Vittie can't poll more than a couple of hundred." "Vittie," I said "is, I suppose, the tertium quid, not the Nationalist. I'm sorry to trouble you with inquiries of this kind, but in case of accident it's better for me to know exactly who my opponents are." "He calls himself a Liberal.
Lalage's teaching had sunk so deep into the popular mind that nobody would have believed anything O'Donoghue and Vittie said even if they had sworn its truth. Titherington, who was beginning to recover, published a counter blast to their letters. He was always quick to seize opportunities and he hoped to increase my popularity by associating me closely with Lalage.
Vittie was tolerably sure of two hundred voters and there were about two hundred others who hesitated between Vittie and me, but would rather cut off their right hands than vote for O'Donoghue. I ought, therefore, to have been elected, and I would have been elected, if Lalage had not turned the minds of the voters away from serious political thought.
Sometimes distinctions were made between the candidates and one of us was declared to be a more skilful or determined liar than the other two. O'Donoghue was sometimes placed in the position of the superlative degree of comparison. So was I. But Vittie suffered most frequently in this way. Lalage had always displayed a special virulence in dealing with Vittie's public utterances.
She winked at me. "Do you suspect him of having influenza?" I asked. "Of course, but he won't own up if he can help it." "Vittie is only shamming," I said. "Titherington told me so, he may emerge at any moment." "It's just like Tithers to say that. The one thing he cannot do is speak the truth. As a matter of fact Vittie is in a dangerous condition. His aunt told me so."
"I'm not trying to please Tithers. I'm acting in the interests of public morality." "Still," I said, "there's no harm in pleasing Tithers incidentally." "I have a big meeting on to-night. Hilda takes the chair, and I'll rub it in about Vittie shamming sick. I never heard anything more disgraceful. Can Tithers be playing the same game, do you think?" "I don't know," I said.
But I greatly feared that complications of various kinds would follow the publicity which was given to our affairs. Vittie almost certainly, O'Donoghue probably, would resent being made to look ridiculous. Hilda's mother and the Archdeacon might not care for the way in which Lalage emphasized the joke. My fellow candidates were the first to object.
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