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'I'm much as usual, thanky, and I haven't lost any money that I know of, and and I mean it, Mark, I've read your book. 'I know you have so has Humpage, said Mark. Uncle Solomon chuckled. 'You made some smart 'its at 'Umpage, he said. 'When I first saw there was a country solicitor in the book, I said to myself, "That's goin' to be 'Umpage," and you 'ad him fine, I will say that.
'Don't you go bringing that in here, now! retorted Uncle Solomon. 'I'll not be spoken to as a churchwarden by you, Mr. 'Umpage, sir, of all parties! 'You'll not be spoken to by anybody very soon at any rate, as a churchwarden. I mean to bring this affair before the magistrates. I shall take out a summons against you for unlawfully ill-treating and abusing my gander, sir!
'That's him that's 'Umpage, he said in a loud whisper. Mark looked up in time to see an old gentleman advance to the door of the pew in front of them a formidable-looking old gentleman, with a sallow face, long iron-grey locks, full grey eyes, a hook-nose, and prominent teeth under a yellowish-grey moustache and beard. He felt a sudden shame, for behind Mr.
He's talked the Vicar into getting them little bags for collections now, all because he was jealous at the clerk's putting the plate inside my pew reg'lar for me to hold. It isn't that I care about 'olding a plate, but to see 'Umpage smirking round with one of them red velvet bags makes me downright sick they'll drive me to go over and be a Baptist one of these fine days. 'You don't like Mr.
But the very next blue moon we have down in these parts, I'll send up for him I promise you that. Dolly was evidently about to inquire searchingly into the nature of this local phenomenon, but before she could begin the old gentleman turned and saw that they were not alone. 'Mornin', Mr. 'Umpage, said Uncle Solomon, clearing his throat; and Mark felt a pang of regret for the lost aspirate.
'As a saint? suggested Mark. 'Never you mind. If I liked to be a saint on glass I could, I suppose I'm a churchwarden, and there's no reason why 'Umpage should 'ave all the painted winders to himself; but I shouldn't care to make myself so conspicuous. 'Umpage, now, he likes that sort of thing.
Uncle Solomon, white and shaking, almost shrunken after his outburst of passion, was standing in the midst of a thick litter of torn paper, looking like a tree which has shed its last leaves in a sudden gust. 'Don't you touch me, 'Umpage, now, he said hoarsely; 'I'm quite capable of going by myself. I I dessay I let my temper get the better o' me just now, he said to Mabel, rather feebly.
Lightowler evidently had made up his mind to be as offensive as possible. 'Afternoon, Mr. 'Umpage, he began; 'I think I've 'ad the pleasure of seeing this bird of yours before; he's good enough to come in odd times and assist my gardener; you'll excuse me for making the remark, however, but when he's like this I think he ought to be kep' indoors.
Lightowler, said the other, turning round with a rather ugly snarl. 'I 'eard you, replied Uncle Solomon, calmly, 'that was why I spoke. Come, come, 'Umpage, don't be nasty we've been neighbours long enough to drop nagging.
I didn't take any notice of them; they're strangers here friends of 'Umpage, I daresay. That was his sister in grey; she keeps house for him, and they say he leads her a pretty life with his tempers. Did you see that old woman behind in a black coalscuttle? That was old widow Barnjum; keeps a sweetstuff shop down in the village.
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