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Updated: June 23, 2025
"Well, Jeeves," I said, reaching for the underlinen, "here we are again at Brinkley Court in the county of Worcestershire." "Yes, sir." "A nice mess things seem to have gone and got themselves into in this rustic joint." "Yes, sir." "The rift between Tuppy Glossop and my cousin Angela would appear to be serious." "Yes, sir.
No easy one, I can assure you, for the browsing and sluicing had been of the highest quality, and there had been one dish in particular I allude to the nonnettes de poulet Agnès Sorel which might well have broken down the most iron resolution. But he had passed it up like a professional fasting man, and I was proud of him. "Oh, hullo, Tuppy," I said, "I wanted to see you."
You will have gleaned that from my remarks to Aunt Dahlia, and if you had been present at this moment and had seen the kindly commiserating look I gave Tuppy, you would have gleaned it still more. It was one of those searching, melting looks, and was accompanied by the hearty clasp of the right hand and the gentle laying of the left on the collar-bone. "Well, Tuppy, old man," I said.
I had never heard anything so absolutely loopy in my life. Why, dash it, I've known Angela since she was so high. You don't fall in love with close relations you've known since they were so high. Besides, isn't there something in the book of rules about a man may not marry his cousin? Or am I thinking of grandmothers? "Tuppy, my dear old ass," I cried, "this is pure banana oil!
I have participated in some pretty glutinous affairs in my time, but I think that never before or since have I been mixed up with such a solid body of brow clutchers. Uncle Tom did it, if you remember. So did Gussie. So did Tuppy. So, probably, though I have no data, did Anatole, and I wouldn't put it past the Bassett.
In other words, you may rest assured that between this young prune and myself there never has been and never could be any sentiment warmer and stronger than that of ordinary friendship." "I believe it was you who tipped her off that I was in the larder last night, so that she could find me there with that pie, thus damaging my prestige." "My dear Tuppy! A Wooster?" I was shocked.
Isn't it bad enough to have sat watching one of Anatole's supremest dinners flit by, course after course, without having you making a song about it? Don't remind me of those nonnettes. I can't stand it." I endeavoured to hearten and console. "Be brave, Tuppy. Fix your thoughts on that cold steak-and-kidney pie in the larder. "Yes, in the morning. And it's now about half-past nine at night.
It seemed to me that she gave me rather a jaundiced look as I hove in sight, but this, having so recently beheld Tuppy in his agony, I attributed to the fact that she, like him, had been going light on the menu. You can't expect an empty aunt to beam like a full aunt. "Oh, it's you, is it?" she said. Well, it was, of course. "Where's Angela?" I asked. "Gone to bed." "Already?"
And it was while I was still massaging the coconut and wondering what the next move was that something barged up against the door like the delivery of a ton of coals. "I think this may very possibly be Mr. Fink-Nottle himself, sir," said Jeeves. His intuition, however, had led him astray. It was not Gussie but Tuppy. He came in and stood breathing asthmatically.
"Is one to have no privacy, Glossop?" I said coldly. "I instructed Jeeves to lock the door because I was about to disrobe." "A likely story!" said Tuppy, and I'm not sure he didn't add "Forsooth!" "You needn't try to make me believe that you're afraid people are going to run excursion trains to see you in your underwear.
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