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Updated: June 23, 2025
"You don't suppose," said Tuppy, with rising vehemence, "that I would have exposed this dashed synthetic shark for the flatfish it undoubtedly was if there had not been causes that led up to it. What induced me to speak as I did was the fact that Angela, the little squirt, had just been most offensive, and I seized the opportunity to get a bit of my own back." "Offensive?" "Exceedingly offensive.
His nostrils dilated, and his fists clenched involuntarily, as he heard himself addressed by the villain. But he restrained himself again he did not pulverise him. 'Here, continued the hardened traitor, tossing the licence at Mr. Pickwick's feet; 'get the name altered take home the lady do for Tuppy. Mr. Pickwick was a philosopher, but philosophers are only men in armour, after all.
But such was my uplifted mood that I waved it aside and slipped him the good news. "Tuppy, old man, the Bassett's going to marry Gussie Fink-Nottle." "Tough luck on both of them, what?" "But don't you understand? Don't you see what this means? It means that Angela is once more out of pawn, and you have only to play your cards properly " He bellowed rollickingly. I saw now that he was in the pink.
" and make him swallow himself. Correct. The programme still holds good." "But, Tuppy, I keep assuring you, as a competent eyewitness, that nobody snitched Angela from you during that Cannes trip." "No. But they did after she got back." "What?" "Don't keep saying, 'What? You heard." "But she hasn't seen anybody since she got back." "Oh, no? How about that newt bloke?" "Gussie?" "Precisely.
The information that his low manoeuvres had been rendered null and void and that the thing was on the strength after all, must have been the nastiest of jars, but there was no play of expression on his finely chiselled to indicate it. There very seldom is on Jeeves's f-c. In moments of discomfort, as I had told Tuppy, he wears a mask, preserving throughout the quiet stolidity of a stuffed moose.
"I must say this has come as a great shock to me, Jeeves." "No doubt, sir." "A very great shock. Angela and Tuppy.... Tut, tut! Why, they seemed like the paper on the wall. Life is full of sadness, Jeeves." "Yes, sir." "Still, there it is." "Undoubtedly, sir." "Right ho, then. Switch on the bath." "Very good, sir."
The eye, roving to and fro, noted here Uncle Tom in a purple dressing gown, there Aunt Dahlia in the old blue and yellow. It also fell upon Anatole, Tuppy, Gussie, Angela, the Bassett and Jeeves, in the order named. There they all were, present and correct. But and this was what caused me immediate concern I could detect no sign whatever that there had been any rescue work going on.
"In about two seconds," said Tuppy, "I'm going to kick your spine up through the top of your head." I raised the eyebrows. Not much good, of course, in that light, but it seemed to help the general composition. "Is this Hildebrand Glossop speaking?" I said. He replied that it was, adding that if I wanted to make sure I might move a few feet over in his direction.
Well, we won't go into the ethics of the thing. Eavesdropping, some people might call it, and I can imagine stern critics drawing in the breath to some extent. Considering it I don't want to hurt your feelings, Tuppy but considering it un-English. A bit un-English, Tuppy, old man, you must admit." "I'm Scotch." "Really?" I said. "I never knew that before.
It was not difficult for a man of my discernment to read what was in his mind, and it occasioned me no surprise, therefore, when his next words had to do with the subject marked with a cross on the agenda paper. "You've heard of this business of mine, I suppose? Me and Angela?" "I have, indeed, Tuppy, old man." "We've bust up." "I know. Some little friction, I gather, in re Angela's shark." "Yes.
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