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Updated: June 29, 2025
Wotever Cap'n Tarbell could ha' seen in 'er, I can't think. "She was quiet, and stupid, and bad-tempered. When the bus-conductor came round for the fares she 'adn't got any change; and when we got to the hall she did such eggsterrordinary things trying to find 'er pocket that I tried to look as if she didn't belong to me.
Lawson passed him a few choice tributes; Ida Tarbell tarred him with her literary stick; Upton Sinclair declared he was this and that; Professor Herren averred that he bore no likeness whatever to Leo Tolstoy and he might also have added, neither did he resemble Francis of Assisi or Simeon Stylites. Those who did not like him usually pictured him by recounting what he was not.
"And I never knew who I was talking to!" grumbled Mecutchen disgustedly. A quarter of an hour later, when Mr. Juddson returned to his office, Mrs. Tarbell was engaged in drawing up a paper which ran as follows: Issue summons in case returnable the first Monday in May, 1883. TARBELL, pro plff. It was a precipe for a writ. "Alexander!" said Mrs.
"She walked up and down the alley-way in front of the window waiting for me just like a lion walking up and down its cage waiting for its dinner, and I made up my mind then and there that I should 'ave to make a clean breast of it and let Cap'n Tarbell get out of it the best way he could. I wasn't going to suffer for him. "'Ow long my missis walked up and down there I don't know.
This gave her a certain advantage when she told the listening girls that the greatest of all occupations for them was not some special vocation, but what Ida Tarbell has called "the business of being a woman."
On hearing this the crowd began to diminish rapidly; but the man with the red moustache set a good example by giving his name loudly and promptly as "Oscar B. Mecutchen, tobacconist, d'reckly opposite the City Hall." So three or four other men allowed Mrs. Tarbell to set them down as observers of the disaster.
It seemed ages to me; but at last I 'eard footsteps and voices, and Bob and the cook and the other two chaps wot we 'ad met at the music'all came along and stood grinning in at the window. "'Somebody's locked us in, I ses. 'Go and fetch Cap'n Tarbell. "'Cap'n Tarbell? ses the cook. 'You don't want to see 'im. Why, he's the last man in the world you ought to want to see!
Tarbell, I congratulate you," which was one for himself as well, "and let me add that it gives me the sincerest satisfaction to be able to testify in this manner to the veneration which I have always entertained for woman; and I am quite sure that in no long space of time you will have proved to us that the law cannot say it has nothing to gain from her refining influence.
Tarbell for it the other day; but that wasn't the final settlement. I got off cheaply from him. At last one will say: 'Let us see, how much wood did you burn, sir? And I shall shudder to think that the next question will be, 'What did you do while you were warm?" Even after we have settled with Admetus in the person of Mr. Tarbell, there comes, you see, a further question.
"Still," she continued, "after Mr. Bott's very flattering remarks you might have spoken with a little more er earnestness and er vigor yourself, you know. And for such an audience as we had last night, three minutes is really " After this, Mrs. Tarbell resolved that her next effort at public speaking should be made before an American jury, or not at all.
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