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Updated: May 23, 2025
The voluptuous joys of Parisian music halls fade into dim memories. The realities of life, the things on which his mind works, are the new lace curtains for the drawing-room window, the ridiculous "swank" of young Jones in the office, and the question of the dismissal of Maud the housemaid.
A characteristic point in the competition was that Swank had introduced figures into his composition where no figures had existed. "What do I care?" he said to my objection. "I was there, wasn't I? And you were there? There may have been others." A mighty roar followed the unveiling, a shout of such force that tons of breadfruit and thousands of cocoanuts fell from the adjacent trees.
The crew, it appears, was composed of gentlemen, who were obviously putting on airs, and sailors, who resented their swank as much as did the great captain. So Drake proceeds to lay the law down vehemently. "Let us show ourselves," said he, "all to be of one company, and let us not give occasion to the enemy to rejoice at our decay and overthrow.
All our navigating instruments, quadrant, sextant, and hydrant, with which we had amused ourselves making foolish observations during that morning of the glorious Fourth, our chronometer and speedometer, all had absolutely disappeared. "And there we are!" said Swank. Triplett coughed apologetically and pulled his forelock.
"Jock Howieson, ye're to tak' thirty swank fellows that can run and are no 'feart to be left alane. Ye'll rin round by the North Street and the Cathedral and come down the top of Breadalbane Street till ye cut off McIntyre's and the Pennies frae their schools.
And as he stood there fumbling, and holding me up while he argued with the gate-keeper, who didn't know him, I got his engaging twinkle. It was as if he looked at me and said, "See me swank just then? Funny, wasn't it?" He hung about on the edge of the crowd for a while with his hands in his pockets, sucking his little blond moustache and looking dreamy and rather incompetent.
They are worn for the sake of the shine and glitter of them. In the fortunate owner they are an inspiriting evidence of "swank." To every one else they are, as Ireland used to be, "the one bright spot" in a desperately drab world. M., a wiser man than I, always wore spurs, though I do not think he ever used them on his horses.
Traprock, of whom I can even now write only with deep emotion, was an exquisite creature, constructed in accordance with the best South Sea specifications in every particular. Swank and Whinney were equally fortunate. We would not have traded wives for ten tons of copra though Moolitonu, who was my best man, explained that this was perfectly possible in case we were not satisfied.
And so on. All coming quite naturally and simply; no swank, no false modesty. "This is his first leave since he went to France, and he thought he must come to see the firm first of all. Sad about poor old Parkins, wasn't it? Killed directly. And Smithers' leg that was bad too. Rum to see such a lot of girls all over the place, doing the boys' jobs.
"That that looks as if it wasn't properly dressed!" "I believe you're jealous that you can't swank as well," he said laughing. "Me! I could have worn evening dress with anybody, if I'd wanted to!" came the scornful answer. "And why didn't you want to?" he asked pertinently. "Or DID you wear it?" There was a long pause. Mrs. Radford readjusted the bacon in the Dutch oven.
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