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Updated: May 22, 2025
A grinning nurse-maid is the worst of all. I may be super-sensitive and crotchety about such things, but I can see no excuse for keeping a servant especially a nurse-maid who laughs at everything that's said by her superiors, even though the quip may be no more side-splitting than a two syllabled "da-da." "Ha, ha!" I laughed bravely. "She she evidently thinks I look like the Count.
Then, one day, Tintop in so many words ordered the captain hereafter not to do as he thought, but simply as his colonel said, and this led to the final incident, still more side-splitting, one that the boys in the regiment never tired of telling.
"Yes; and round his neck they place a string of Irish potatoes, like a necklace " "A necklace! what an idea. Not pearls or corals potatoes!" And Ralph laughed with an expression of innocent surprise, which was only adopted on great occasions. "Yes," said Mr. Jinks, "of potatoes; and you may imagine what a sight it is the saint dressed up in that way." "Really! it must be side-splitting."
Hogg, it appears, wrote the first part; Wilson and Lockhart together contributed most of the remainder, amidst side-splitting guffaws, in a session in the house of the Dowager Wilson, in Queen Street; while the philosophic Sir William Hamilton, in adding his mite, was so moved by uproarious cachinnation that he fairly tumbled out of his chair.
Nan played draughts with her uncle and fox and geese and the other kindergarten game with her big cousins. To see Tom, with his eyes screwed up tight and the pencil poised in his blunt, frost-cracked fingers over the slate, while he recited in a base sing-song: "Hick'ry, dick'ry, dock The mouse ran up the clock, The clock struck one, An' down he come Hick'ry, dick'ry, dock," was side-splitting.
There was the bustle of embarkation on to the boat; the rattle and bang of falling luggage; the jangle of French and English tongues; the unstraining of mighty ropes; the "hoot! hoot!" from the funnel, a side-splitting incident; the suff-suff-lap-suff of the ploughed-up sea; the spray of the Channel, which sprinkling one's cheeks, caused one to roar with laughter, till more moderation was enjoined; the incessant throb of the engines; the vision of white cliffs, and the excitement among the passengers; the headache; the landing on a black old pier; the privilege of guarding the luggage by sitting upon as much of one trunk as six years' growth of boy will cover, and pressing firmly upon two other trunks with either hand, while Mrs.
The bald-headed man interspersed side-splitting patter. The husband comes home late; the wife is waiting for him at the top of the stairs with a broom. He kisses the servant-girl. She retaliates by discovering a cousin in the Guards. The comic man retired to an enthusiastic demand for an encore. I looked around me at the laughing faces.
We enjoyed her company immensely, for she told us side-splitting tales which kept us at table till it was time to go to Rosalie's, where my niece's adorer was certain to be awaiting us. The next day, which was Holy Thursday, Rosalie came with us to see the processions. I had Rosalie and Marcoline with me, one on each arm, veiled in their mezzaros, and my niece was under the charge of her lover.
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