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Updated: June 17, 2025
I awoke with a start and with the guilty feeling that I had been shouting in my sleep. I saw it was morning. "No that is, yes; my shaving-water, please." After breakfast the landlady's boy offered for five shillings to take me in his donkey-cart to the birthplace of George Eliot. He explained that the house was just seven miles north; but Baalam's express is always slow, so I concluded to walk.
About 7:30 a knock sounded at my door, and a voice announced in tones which struck me as being somewhat tremulous with suppressed laughter "Your shaving-water, sir." Now, I may as well confess that at this particular period of my life the one subject upon which, above all others, I was most sensitive was shaving.
She glanced hurriedly round for a last time to make sure that there was nothing she had omitted collar, tie, silk socks, dress-shoes, shaving-water, razor. "I'll be listening for the bell in case there's anything that I've forgotten, sir." With that she closed the door between himself and her emotion. As she rustled discreetly down the stairs, he thought he heard a sound of sobbing.
'It's after half past ten aren't you going to get up? she called. She waited again. Two letters lay unopened on a small table. Suddenly she put down her pail and went into the bathroom. The pot of shaving-water stood untouched on the shelf, just as she had left it. She returned and knocked swiftly at her husband's door, not speaking. She waited, then she knocked again, loudly, a long time.
Sponge determined to ride over to Nonsuch House to breakfast, which would give his horse half an hour in the stable to eat a feed of corn. Accordingly, he desired Leather to bring him his shaving-water, and have the horse ready in the stable in half an hour, whither, in due time, Mr. Sponge emerged by the back door, without encountering any of the family.
When he felt his way back to wakefulness in the morning, there was a subconscious sense that something important had happened; a moment later he remembered with a pang that he and Barbara had said good-bye. He jumped up and rang for his shaving-water, though it was not yet seven.
Why, my dear Chris, if you'd heard the conversation of the lady next me to-night, you'd have thought that the premier said, every morning when his shaving-water was brought him, 'Another day! Whose happiness can I mar? Whose ruin can I effect? What villainy can I execute to-day?" One night, at dinner, he happened to sit next a young lady in whom the fashionable world were a good deal interested.
On this very 2nd of October he had dismissed James Forster, because that luckless youth had brought him shaving-water at eighty-four degrees Fahrenheit instead of eighty-six; and he was awaiting his successor, who was due at the house between eleven and half-past eleven.
I then bade him bring me hot shaving-water, in a loud dignified tone. 'Is it yourself you're going to shave? said he. 'And maybe when I bring you up the water I'll bring you up the cat too, and you can shave her. I flung a boot at the scoundrel's head in reply to this impertinence, and was soon with my friends in the parlour for breakfast.
So she hurried to his chamber-door with his shaving-water, calling, "Brother!" Grey had a low, always pleasant voice, I remember; you looked in her eyes, when you heard it, to see her laughing. The ex-Congressman was friendly, but dignified, when he took the water. Grey presumed on her usefulness; women seldom did know their place.
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