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"What are you doing? for Heaven's sake, what are you doing?" cried Russelton, starting up; "do you mean to kill me?" "Kill you!" said Sir Willoughby, quite aghast. "Yes; kill me! is it not quite cold enough already in this d d seafaring place, without making my only retreat, humble as it is, a theatre for thorough draughts?
Notwithstanding the heat of the weather, there was a small fire on the hearth, which, aided by the earnestness of his efforts to convince his host, put poor Sir Willoughby into a most intense perspiration. Russelton, however, seemed enviably cool, and hung over the burning wood like a cucumber on a hotbed.
"True," said Russelton, with a very faint smile at a pun, somewhat in his own way, and levelled at a tradesman, of whom he was, perhaps, a little jealous "True; Stultz aims at making gentlemen, not coats; there is a degree of aristocratic pretension in his stitches, which is vulgar to an appalling degree.
"My mistress could not withhold from me her admiration, but she denied me her love. She confessed Mr. Russelton was the best dressed man at the University, and had the whitest hands; and two days after this avowal, she ran away with a great rosy-cheeked extract from Leicestershire. "I did not blame her: I pitied her too much but I made a vow never to be in love again.
Do you think, because your great frame, fresh from the Yorkshire wolds, and compacted of such materials, that one would think, in eating your beeves, you had digested their hides into skin do you think, because your limbs might be cut up into planks for a seventy-eight, and warranted water-proof without pitch, because of the density of their pores do you think, because you are as impervious as an araphorostic shoe, that I, John Russelton, am equally impenetrable, and that you are to let easterly winds play about my room like children, begetting rheums and asthmas and all manner of catarrhs?
At the name of the person thus introduced to me, a thousand recollections crowded upon my mind; the contemporary and rival of Napoleon the autocrat of the great world of fashion and cravats the mighty genius before whom aristocracy had been humbled and ton abashed at whose nod the haughtiest noblesse of Europe had quailed who had introduced, by a single example, starch into neckcloths, and had fed the pampered appetite of his boot-tops on champagne whose coat and whose friend were cut with an equal grace and whose name was connected with every triumph that the world's great virtue of audacity could achieve the illustrious, the immortal Russelton, stood before me.
I hope, at least, they would have put the cause of my death in my epitaph 'Died, of an Englishman, John Russelton, Esq., aged, Pah! You are not engaged, Mr. Pelham; dine with me to-day; Willoughby and his umbrella are coming." "Volontiers," said I, "though I was going to make observations on men and manners at the table d'hote of my hotel." "I am most truly grieved," replied Mr.
"So," said Sir Willoughby "so, Russelton, you like your quarters here; plenty of sport among the English, I should think: you have not forgot the art of quizzing; eh, old fellow?" "Even if I had," said Mr. Russelton, speaking very slowly, "the sight of Sir Willoughby Townshend would be quite sufficient to refresh my memory.
Russelton started for a moment, and then, with a politeness he had not deigned to exert before, approached his chair to mine, and began a conversation, which, in spite of his bad witticisms, and peculiarity of manner, I found singularly entertaining.
I soon saw that Russelton was a soured and disappointed man; his remarks on people were all sarcasms his mind was overflowed with a suffusion of ill-nature he bit as well as growled. No man of the world ever, I am convinced, becomes a real philosopher in retirement.
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