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Updated: June 28, 2025
"Hullo!" cried the Righthandiron. "Halloa!" called the Lefthandiron. "That's not my name," came the voice of the Poker from behind a cloud just above Tom's head. "But I know who you mean, so I answer Halloa yourself." "Where are you?" cried Lefty. "Here," called the Poker. "No, you're not," called Righty. "You're there. We are here."
"I'll have you know, Josie Beemis, that if every girl in this store watched her step like me, there'd be a darn sight less trouble in the world." "I know you don't go beyond the life-line, Loo, but, gee! you you do swim out some!" "Little Loo knows her own depth, all righty." "Not the way you're cuttin' up with Charley Cox."
"Hello," said Tom, as he read what was printed on the clipping. "The astronomers at the Lick observatory have discovered a new constellation in the southeast heavens. It is of huge dimensions and resembles in its outlines the figure of a rhinoceros or some such pachydermatous creature." "Well, I never!" he cried, as he read. "I say, Righty, do you believe that's the old Hippopotamus?"
He whizzed down one side and up the other, and pouf! First thing he knew he was flying off into space." "And what became of him?" demanded Tom. "He had the luck not to hit anything, but he suffered just the same," said Righty. "He flew on until he got to a point where he was held fast up in the air by the force of gravity of 1,600 different planets, and he's there yet.
His quietude was like a great, impregnable, invisible wall inclosing him. "I'm not the man can change his ways, Hanna. I married at forty, too late for that." "I notice you liked my pep, all righty, when I was workin' in the feed-yard office. I hadn't been in it ten days before you were hangin' on my laughs from morning till night." "I do yet, Hanna only you don't laugh no more.
Kim f'm S'loois. But still, I got that feelin' abaout Italy. Simlike I'd be oh, sorta at home tha'. Had that same feelin' ev' since Unc' Bernique begand to tell me abaout Italy. I'm a-goin' tha', tew, some day, all righty," he concluded at last, waking up from his little dream slowly. "Goin' to be long over to Poetical, Mist' Steerin'?" he diverged again, with his lively mental agility. "No, son.
"It's a candy Klondike," explained the Lefthandiron. "There are Gumdrop Mines and Marshmallow Lodes and Deposits of Chocolate Creams beyond the dreams of avarice. Remember 'em, Righty?" "Oom, mh, mh!" murmured Righty, smacking his lips with joy. "Do I remember them! O, my! Don't I just. Why, I never wanted to come back from there. I had to be pulled out of the Peppermint mine with a derrick.
We can't afford anything of that sort, you know." "All righty; but I'd shore like ter git a crack at some o' them mavericks," said Bud grudgingly. "They're all licked in their minds already," said Ted. "Of course, they're sore at losing their money, and if a dozen or more of them were to tackle you, you'd have a hard time getting away with it.
"Then let's go to Saturn," suggested Tom. "Oh, no!" said Righty. "Not that." "Then there's only one thing left," said Tom, with a sigh, "and that's the long jump whatever that is." Tom's three companions roared with laughter. "Absurd!" cried Righty. "The idea. The long jump the only thing left! Ha, ha, ha!" "Perfect nonsense," laughed Lefty. "I never thought Dozy Pate could be so dull."
"And I and I," came from all parts of the car; from Lefty and Righty, from Tom, the Flamingo, the Hippopotamus and Polar Bear. "Very well," said the Conductor, calmly. "I don't care. It isn't my money that's lost, but I'll tell you one thing, this car doesn't stop until you've all paid up!" "What!" cried the Polar Bear. "I want to get off at the Toboggan slide."
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