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Updated: June 1, 2025
"Now hear him brag and use langwidge unfit for any lady to see: "'We've jest went throo the gosh-almightiest campane that enny army ever done. It wuz rane and mud 48 ours outen the 24, with thunder and litenin' on the side. We got wettern Faro's hosts done chasin' the Jews throo 50 foot of Red See.
Aug. 27. it has been brite and fair all the week and hot as time. i have to go to the river for soft water because it hasent raned eny since i had to tip over the rane water barril. i have got a little tirtle as big as a cent. father went down to General Marstons office tonite to arrange about the rally. he came home and practised about an hour. i gess he wood have practised all nite if the baby hadent waked up an hollered.
She's tickled me considerabull sumtims only it was the wrong wa. Most human naturs git tickled the wrong wa sumtims. She was heviest onter me the fust yeer I ever owned a Umbrellar. I was going on 18 yeer old then, and praid for rane as bad as any dride-up farmer.
Sept. 14. Brite and fair. Will went home to-day i was sorry he went, we had a good time and i never knew him to be such a good feller before. i gess it did him good to get a lickin. father says it always does me good to get a good lickin. before he went he got me to throw a ball easy at him and he let it hit him in the eye so he cood tell his folks that a ball hit him in the eye, so he wood not have to tell a lie to his father about his black eye. a feller feels a good deal better when he doesent have to lie to his folks. when i usted to hook in swiming i usted to stick my head in the rane water barril so I cood tell father how i wet my hair. i dident like to do it sometimes becaus the barril was full of little wigglers but i had ruther do that then have to tell a lie, ennyway i gess all the wigglers that got into my hair died becaus they never bit me. father says they turn into musketers.
Sept. 16. Clowdy but no rane. Beany and Ticky Moses got fiting at resess today. we was playing 2 old cat and we was chewsing sides, and Beany and Ticky was chewsing and the way they did it was this.
Skinny Bruces pigs fathers bladder, no i mean Skinny Bruces fathers pigs bladder was most twice as big. Nov. 3. Brite and fair. the water in the rane baril was froze over last nite. today i blew up the bladder and dride it in the kitchen. it made a prety good football.
"Quamvis ego declino ad has res parum, tamen est bonum scribere in libro nostro, ut non remaneat tractatus sine eis quas dixrunt antiqui. Dico igitur quod dixit torror: Si scinderis pedem rane viridis et ligaveris supra pendem podagrici per tres dies, curatur; ita quod dextrum pedum rane ponas supra dextrum pedem patientis, et e converso.
To daub a tawdry and superficial reproduction of those Parmese frescoes, to fill the cupolas of Italy with veritable guazzetti di rane, was comparatively easy; and between our intelligence and what remains of that stupendous masterpiece of boldness, crowd a thousand memories of such ineptitude.
Their men rane with all speed to recover their armes, as by y^e good providence of God they did.
Butt theire are times whenn my harte is sore and heavy; and the rane beeting agenst the winder semes lik dropps of cold worter falling uponn my pore aking harte. If you cou'd stele a visitt you wou'd see wether she semes worse than whenn you sor her last ortumm; she is trieing ye tansy tea; and beggs her service to you, and greatfull thanks for y'r rememberence of her.
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