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Updated: April 30, 2025
ASTRAEA: With the assumption, that as I am feminine I must necessarily be in the folds of the horrible constrictor they call Love, and that I leap to the thoughts of their debasing marriage. LYRA: One of them goes to Mr. Homeware. ASTRAEA: All are sent to him in turn. He can dispose of them. LYRA: Now that is really masterly fun, my dear; most creditable to you!
HOMEWARE: Astraea, it is decided, must remain solitary, virgin cold, like the little Alpine flower. Professor Spiral has his theme. ARDEN: He will make much of it. May I venture to say that I prefer my present company? HOMEWARE: It is a singular choice. I can supply you with no weapons for the sort of stride in which young men are usually engaged. You belong to the camp you are avoiding.
I am not the frail creature you conceive. Between your vision of life's aim, and theirs Who presently will question me, I cling To theirs as light: and yours I deem a den Where souls can have no growth. HOMEWARE: But when we touched The point of hand-pressings, 'twas rightly time To think of wedding ties? ASTRAEA: Arden, adieu! ARDEN: Adieu! she said. With her that word is final.
HOMEWARE: Surely the old fox, In all I have read, is wiser than the young: And if there is a game for fox to play, Old fox plays cunningest. ASTRAEA: Why fox? Oh! uncle, You make my heart beat with your mystery; I never did love riddles. Why sit they Awaiting me, and looking terrible?
HOMEWARE: For the draining of a pestiferous land, or an enlightenment of the benighted black, we could not despatch a missionary more effective than the handsomest widow in Great Britain. LYRA: Have you not seen signs of disturbance? HOMEWARE: A great oration may be a sedative. LYRA: I have my suspicions. HOMEWARE: Mr.
Evidently she cannot perceive it, and I have to seek: You will have had many conversations with Astraea? ARDEN: I can say, that I am thrice the man I was before I had them. HOMEWARE: You have gained in manhood from conversations with a widow in her twenty-second year; and you want more of her. ARDEN: As much as I want more wisdom. HOMEWARE: You would call her your Muse?
ARDEN: Yet she said, we are lost, in her surprise. HOMEWARE: Good morning. HOMEWARE: Look hard but give no thanks. I found my girl descending on the road Of breakneck coquetry, and barred her way. Either she leaps the bar, or she must back. That means she marries you, or says good-bye. ARDEN: Now she's among them. HOMEWARE: Now she sees her mind. ARDEN: It is my destiny she now decides!
ARDEN: She commended me to you, sir. She has a sound judgement of persons. HOMEWARE: I should put it that she passes the Commissioners of Lunacy, on the ground of her being a humorous damsel. Your predecessors had also argued it with her; and they, too, discovered their enemy in a whimsical feminine delicacy. Where is the difference between you?
HOMEWARE: Love and war have been compared. Both require strategy and tactics, according to my recollection of the campaign. ARDEN: I will take to heart what you say, sir. HOMEWARE: Take it to head. There must be occasional descent of lovers' heads from the clouds. And Professor Spiral, But here we have a belated breeze of skirts. LYRA: My own dear uncle Homeware! HOMEWARE: But where is Pluriel?
LYRA: Which right partner has been chosen on her part, by a veiled woman, who marches back from the altar to discover that she has chained herself to the skeleton of an idea, or is in charge of that devouring tyrant, an uxorious husband. Is Mr. Arden in favour with the Dame, uncle? HOMEWARE: My sister is an unsuspicious potentate, as you know.
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