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From there, he could set out unnoticed on the Delhi adventure which his grandfather happily approved, with what profound heart-searchings and heart-stirrings Roy did not even dimly guess. At sundown the Residency party would drive through the city and finish up at the gardens, before going on to dine at the Palace. That would be Arúna's moment for slipping away.
He consorted much more now with Mr. Yolland, the curate, and was making arrangements by which the school chapel might expand into a Mission Church, but still I did not know that he was finding the best aid through this time in the devotions and heart-searchings to which the young clergyman had led him, and which were the real cause of the calm and dignified humility with which he waited.
Later on, when, after the inward struggles and heart-searchings of those gloomy years of monastic experience, the light dawned upon him of his Scriptural doctrine of salvation, we find him expressing his sympathy and reverence for the two leading spirits of the movement, Reuchlin and Erasmus; and this notwithstanding the fact that he never approved the method of defence adopted by the supporters of the former, nor could ever conceal his dislike of the attitude taken up by Erasmus in regard to theology and religion.
Whilst we were still thus engaged, our friend the captain of the guard presented himself, and with many obeisances signified that we were to follow him, which we did, not without doubts and heart-searchings for we guessed that the time had come when we should have to settle the bill for those confounded hippopotami with our cold-eyed friend Agon, the High Priest.
The answer to that staggering question is not yet. But the splendour of their gift remains: a splendour no after-failure can tarnish or dim ... To the inmates of Bramleigh Beeches Nevil excepted the crash came with startling abruptness; dwarfing all personal problems, heart-searchings and high decisions.
'Tis the part of a loyal subject, they say, to spare her Majesty's womanish feelings and her hatred of bloodshed, and this lady having been condemned, to take her off secretly so as to save the Queen the pain and heart-searchings of signing the warrant. You credit me not, sir, but I have the letter to my sorrow and shame."
In the seminary for boys, the converts of the previous revival were, for two or three days after this began, the subjects of intense heart-searchings, and of piercing compunctions for their backslidings. This was not less true of the more devoted Christians, than of others. The irreligious members of the seminary were also deeply moved; and there was a similar experience in the girls' seminary.
The strain must have been great, the effort enormous, and he knew, as he was bound to know, that his coming had unloosed jealousies and heart-searchings innumerable, with which he could not deal in the usual drastic fashion common to him. The winter was coming on, which was, as we have before remarked, very much of a close season both for the pirate and the honest merchant seaman.
I do not wonder it has raised a great stir. I do not wonder that there are heart-searchings and angry words because that simple question, that modest proposal, which we see embodied in the new income-tax provisions, in the land taxes, in the licence duties, and in the tax on mining royalties that modest proposal means, and can only mean, the refusal of the modern State to bow down unquestioningly before the authority of wealth.
How much, after all, should he tell her of the heart-searchings of these wretched weeks? Last night he had meant to tell her everything; he had meant to say: "I have sinned against heaven the heaven of our love and before thee; and am no more worthy...." But was it not essential to a woman's happiness to believe the man she loved, to be in all ways, worthy?
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