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Updated: May 12, 2025
Speaking for himself, what a man wanted beyond his weekly newspaper, he, Uncle Gutton, was unable to understand; but if there were fools in the world who wanted to read rubbish written by other fools, then the other fools would of course write it; Uncle Gutton did not blame them. He mentioned no names, but what he would say was: a plain man for a sensible girl, and no painted baubles.
I shan't mind, and maybe it'll do you good." I informed him that nothing was further from my desire. "Oh, all right," returned Uncle Gutton, seemingly disappointed. "If you're willing to forgive and forget, so am I. I never liked you, as I daresay you saw, and so I told Rosie. 'He may be cleverer than he looks, I says, 'or he may be a bigger fool than I think him, though that's hardly likely.
These twain I discovered to be Uncle and Aunt Gutton. From an observation dropped later in the evening concerning government restrictions on the sale of methylated spirit, and hastily smothered, I gathered that their line was oil and colour. Mr. Gutton's forte appeared to be badinage.
The waiter here entering with a message from the cabman to the effect that if he was to catch the twelve-forty-five from Charing Cross, it was about full time he started, Uncle Gutton was compelled to bring his speech to a premature conclusion. The bride and bridegroom were hustled into their clothes. There followed much female embracing and male hand-shaking.
"She accepted me, sir," returned Uncle Gutton, in a voice that would have awed any one but Minikin. "Can you give me any good reason for her not doing so?" "No need to get mad with me," explained Minikin. "I'm not blaming the poor woman. We all have our moments of despair." The unfortunate Clapper again exploded. Uncle Gutton rose to his feet. The ready Jarman saved the situation. "'Ear!
"I hadn't looked at it in that light," she replied. "Very well, I'll hold my tongue." My place at breakfast was to the left of the maternal Sellars, the Signora next to me, and the O'Kelly opposite. Uncle Gutton faced the bride and bridegroom.
I concluded her to be Miss Gutton. "It doesn't seem to me," said Aunt Gutton from the other end of the table, "that gentlemen are as keen on marrying nowadays as they used to be." "Got to know a bit about it, I expect," sounded the small, shrill voice of the unseen Joseph.
"Good-bye," called out to me the watery-eyed young man, as behind the fair Rosina I disappeared from his view. "See you again later on." "I used to be a plump girl myself before I married," observed Aunt Gutton. "Plump as butter I was at one time." "It isn't what one eats," said the maternal Sellars. "I myself don't eat enough to keep a fly, and my legs "
The lean young lady, amid renewed applause, first thoughtfully wiping her mouth, acceded to his request. The watery-eyed young man turned it over with the air of a gourmet. "Not bad," was his verdict. "Reminds me of onions." At this there was another burst of laughter. "Now then, ain't Paul goin' to have one?" shouted Uncle Gutton, when the laughter had subsided.
At the head of the burgesses of La Rochelle, as determined as the Duchess of Rohan to secure their liberties or perish, was the president of the board of marine, soon afterwards mayor of the town, John Gutton, a rich merchant, whom the misfortunes of the times had wrenched away from his business to become a skilful admiral, an intrepid soldier, accustomed for years past to scour the seas as a corsair.
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