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Updated: May 5, 2025
Gammer Gurton's Needle, long supposed to be the first English comedy, was first acted by students at Cambridge. That our more rollicking boys had their counterparts then, we may know from its rousing drinking-song, which the fellows rang out at the opening of the second act, way back there in 1551.
"My babe is dead, and I feel the sickness on me. I went to the houses seeking meal, even to Gammer Harden's; and I must die. As for thee, thou shalt not come near me, but bide with the child; so maybe God will spare the innocent." Hilarius besought her long that she would at least suffer him to bring her food, but she would not.
Hark ye: before the night come, she shall hie her to the Tower. The King my father" "In sooth, you forget, sir, her low degree. The Tower is for the great alone." "True, indeed. I had not thought of that. I will consider of her punishment. Is thy father kind to thee?" "Not more than Gammer Canty, sir." "Fathers be alike, mayhap. Mine hath not a doll's temper.
"Pshaw NUGAE, good Gammer Sludge," answered the preceptor; "I ensure you that Satan, if there be Satan in the case, shall not touch a thread of his garment; for Dickie can say his PATER with the best, and may defy the foul fiend EUMENIDES, STYGIUMQUE NEFAS."
You dare pass that door and you shall see that the gentle, peaceable, and patient Gammer Gurton is changed into a lioness, when any one tries to tear from her that most sacred and dearest of treasures, her husband. For you are my husband, inasmuch as I have your word that you will marry me."
The stew which Mrs. Gammer placed before him consisted of a mixture of barley, onions and some white meat. He ate a hearty supper, and when he stood up he drew his hands across his mouth. "Thank you kindly," he said. "I must be off now, and see where that cock has gone to." Then it was that Mrs. Gammer gave a short and derisive laugh.
He said to himself: "Now is the matter clear; this is the stranger that plucked Giles Witt out of the Thames, and saved his life, that windy, bitter, first day of the New Year a brave good deed pity he hath been doing baser ones and got himself in this sad case . . . I have not forgot the day, neither the hour; by reason that an hour after, upon the stroke of eleven, I did get a hiding by the hand of Gammer Canty which was of so goodly and admired severity that all that went before or followed after it were but fondlings and caresses by comparison."
We have to thank the researches of antiquaries, and the Shakspeare Society, for ascertaining the steps of the English drama, from the Mysteries celebrated in churches and by churchmen, and the final detachment from the church, and the completion of secular plays, from Ferrex and Porrex, and Gammer Gurton's Needle, down to the possession of the stage by the very pieces which Shakspeare altered, remodelled, and finally made his own.
But Gammer Gurton's Needle, which was first acted about the year 1560, certainly deserves the name of a comedy. However antiquated in language and versification, it possesses unequivocal merit in the low comic.
I love no roast, says John Still, in "Gammer Gurton's Needle," "I love no rost, but a nut-browne torte, And a crab layde in the fyre; A lytle bread shall do me stead, Much bread I not desire." In the bibulous days of Shakespeare, the peg tankard, a species of wassail or wish-health bowl, was still in use.
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