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Updated: June 8, 2025
"What's your name?" asked the lieutenant, speaking into the small nickel mirror, while he ran the safety razor obliquely across his throat. He stuttered a little. To Fuselli he seemed to speak like an Englishman. "Fuselli." "Italian parentage, I presume?" "Yes," said Fuselli sullenly, dragging one of the cots away from the wall. "Parla Italiano?" "You mean, do I speak Eyetalian?
We used to have parties here and, say! they was nice girls in them days. Look at 'em now! Such riffraff! New ones comin' in all the time, new ones worse each time. Riffraff, that's what they are. She looked around to see if the Italian was about. “Now you take this Eyetalian girl next to you. Gee! she's some fright. Oughtta heard her this morning.
Well, by and by Lonesome Huckleberries' shanty hove in sight, and I was glad to see it, although I had to answer a million questions about Lonesome and his history. I told the Todds that, so fur as nationality was concerned he was a little of everything, like a picked-up dinner; principally Eyetalian and Portugee, I cal'late, with a streak of Gay Head Injun.
Th' la-ads he's tackled have more marked ca-ards in their pockets thin a preacher fr'm Mitchigan an' more bad money thin ye cud shake out iv th' coat-tail pockets iv a prosp'rous banker fr'm Injianny. He's been up again Gladstun an' Bisma-arck an' ol' what-ye-call-'im, th' Eyetalian, his name's got away from me, an' he's done thim all. "Well, business is bad. No wan will play with him.
But no "Keep off the grass" signs deterred him, as he remembered now, too late, all that he had heard of the ferocity of the Broadacre dogs which its master kept for just such occasions as this. "Bloodhounds! And they've loosed them! Oh, me darlin' colleen! Ill to me that I let ye go wanderin' thus with that miserable Eyetalian!
The house or tent was filled in a short time, and the audience was treated to a polyglot entertainment of the most remarkable character. Nibsinsky's Eyetalian selections were listened to with some degree of attention and a considerable measure of perplexity. He could not be considered a success and no inducements could compel him to repeat the performance.
"I t'ink," Bennietod gave out, "dat dey're lost Eyetalian organ-grinder monkeys, wid huming intelligence, like Bertran's Bimi." "What a suspicious child it is," yawned Little Cawthorne, and went to sleep again.
Beside him was a fellow in a clown's habit who blew loudly three times upon a trumpet, which done, the man took off his hat and began to harangue the crowd, something in this wise: "I come before you, ladies and gentlemen, not for vulgar gain or, as I might say kudos, which is Eyetalian for the same not to put my hands into your pockets and rifle 'em of your honestly earned money; no, I come before you for the good of each one of you, for the easing of suffering mankind as I might say the ha-melioration of stricken humanity.
I don't know whether she was Eyetalian or Dutch." "Her mother was Greek, I always heard," said Mrs. Lynn. "I dun'no' as I ever heard of any other Greek round these parts. I guess they don't emigrate much." "I guess it was Greek, now you speak of it," said the old woman. "I knew she was outlandish on one side, anyhow.
Under the circumstances, since we were born how and as we were, and this had happened and that, we were not an honest Eyetalian living in a back bedroom on West Forty-fourth Street near the river. We did what we could to feel the part. Every lady in the land knows the psychology of dress—though not always expressed by her in those terms. She feels the way she looks, not the other way round.
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