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Updated: May 8, 2025
Then he ran away to get the ladder, and while he was gone the Horners gathered around and welcomed the strangers to their country, for through them a great war had been avoided. In a little while Diksey came back with a tall ladder which he placed against the fence. Ojo at once climbed to the top of the ladder and Dorothy went about halfway up and Scraps stood at the foot of it.
So, when you mend your legs, you mend your ways. Ho, ho, ho! hee, hee! I'd no idea I could make such a fine joke!" "Just wonderful!" echoed the Chief. "How do you manage to do it, Diksey?" "I don't know," said Diksey modestly. "Perhaps it's the radium, but I rather think it's my splendid intellect."
On the other side of the fence were Dorothy and Ojo, looking between the pickets; and there, also, were the Champion and many other Hoppers. Diksey went close to the fence and said: "My good Hoppers, I wish to explain that what I said about you was a joke. You have but one leg each, and we have two legs each. Our legs are under us, whether one or two, and we stand on them.
"All right," replied Diksey, who seemed a good-natured man; "I'll go at once to the fence and explain. I don't want any war with the Hoppers, for wars between nations always cause hard feelings." So the Chief and Diksey and Scraps left the house and went back to the marble picket fence. The Scarecrow was still stuck on the top of his picket but had now ceased to struggle.
"Do so," he begged earnestly, and again the Hoppers laughed, to the Scarecrow's great annoyance. While Dorothy was sewing up the hole in the straw man's back Scraps examined the other parts of him. "One of his legs is ripped, too!" she exclaimed. "Oho!" cried little Diksey; "that's bad. Give him the needle and thread and let him mend his ways."
"If you don't quit it," the Scarecrow told him, "there'll be a worse war than the one you've escaped from." Ojo had been deep in thought, and now he asked the Chief: "Is there a dark well in any part of your country?" "A dark well? None that ever I heard of," was the answer. "Oh, yes," said Diksey, who overheard the boy's question. "There's a very dark well down in my radium mine."
You know it spoils any joke to be obliged to explain it, and this is the best joke I ever heard." "Who made the joke?" asked Scraps. "Diksey Horner. He is working in the mines, just now, but he'll be home before long. Suppose we wait and talk with him about it? Maybe he'll be willing to explain his joke to the Hoppers." "All right," said Scraps. "I'll wait, if Diksey isn't too long."
"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Chief, and the other Horners at once roared with laughter. "What's funny?" inquired the Scarecrow sternly. "Don't you see?" asked Diksey, who had laughed even harder than the others. "That's a joke. It's by odds the best joke I ever made. You walk with your legs, and so that's the way you walk, and your legs are the ways. See?
"What's up, Chief?" asked Diksey, winking nineteen times at the nineteen girls, who demurely cast down their eyes because their father was looking. The Chief told the man that his joke had not been understood by the dull Hoppers, who had become so angry that they had declared war. So the only way to avoid a terrible battle was to explain the joke so they could understand it.
"Is there any water in it?" Ojo eagerly asked. "Can't say; I've never looked to see. But we can find out." So, as soon as the Scarecrow was mended, they decided to go with Diksey to the mine. When Dorothy had patted the straw man into shape again he declared he felt as good as new and equal to further adventures. "Still," said he, "I prefer not to do picket duty again.
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