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Updated: May 4, 2025
Then the hardness and distrust with which he had unconsciously armed himself fell away, and he and Rufus Cosgrave sat side by side in the sooty grass behind the biscuit factory, and with arms clasped about their scarred and grubby knees planned out the vague but glorious time that waited for them. Rufus was to be a Civil Servant.
"Monsieur le docteur is a leetle pale. One is always nervous at one's debut. You never act before, hein?" "Not in a theatre like this," he said. And he felt a momentary satisfaction because she knew that his answer had a meaning which she did not understand. She persisted. "Monsieur Cosgrave say you would not come. To say you never do nothing only work and work. Is that true?" "Yes."
For all their ploughing and their sowing, what sort of a place had any of them led a woman into? They might talk away. The joy of the builder was his. The beech trees that made music all day beside the building he was putting up to the sight of all the world had more understanding of him than all the people of the parish. Martin Cosgrave had no help.
After all, Rufus Cosgrave had imagined his answers. Connie Edwards met Robert as he came out of the hospital gates and told him. It was raining dismally, with an ill-tempered wind blustering down the crowded street, and she had not dressed for bad weather. Perhaps she did not admit unpleasant possibilities even into her wardrobe. Perhaps she could not afford to do so.
It had been the sight of that downward rushing hill and the sudden choking exultation. He had felt it too that night in Acacia Grove in pursuit of the Greatest Show and once again. He could smell the scent of the trees and the young grass blowing in his face. And at the bottom there had been a mysterious wood like a deep, green pool. Then on the eighth day Cosgrave disappeared.
What's it all about? They make a great deal of noise to cover up their unhappiness. They're terrified of loneliness and silence. And one day it'll have to be faced." "Oh, if you're going to take Howard as an example " he interrupted. " and Rufus Cosgrave," she added. He laughed with a boyish malice. "Cosgrave doesn't need a god. He's got me. I'll look after him." "You think you can?
If he had asked himself what he intended he would have said he meant to look after Cosgrave, who was in a bad way. As a friend and as a doctor he had the right. He would not have admitted that his own personality had become involved, that he had felt himself obscurely challenged. Then he saw Cosgrave. He saw him before his companion, though for everyone else she obscured him utterly.
Her eyes, very blue and shadowless, met his stare with a kind of bonhomie almost a Masonic understanding and the uncompromising antagonism that replied seemed to check her. She hesitated, then as he at last stood back, passed on still smiling, but mechanically, as though something had surprised her into forgetting why she smiled. Cosgrave followed her.
I can imagine what you said: 'I suggest, Mademoiselle, that you reduce the doses gradually." It was so nearly what he had said that Stonehouse flinched, and suddenly Cosgrave seemed to feel an impatient compassion for him. "Oh, I'm a beast. It was jolly decent of you. You meant well. But you can't help." And that was what she had said. Stonehouse made no answer.
Then the uncertainties were lopped off, the building took shape, touch after touch was added. Long shadows spread out from the trees and wrapped the fields. Stars came out in the sky. But Martin Cosgrave never noticed these things. The building was growing all the time.
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