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Updated: June 29, 2025
"About two years ago, one mortal brilin' hot day, as I was a pokin' along the road from Halifax to Windsor, with Old Clay in the waggon, with my coat off, a ridin' in my shirt-sleeves, and a thinkin' how slick a mint-julep would travel down red-lane, if I had it, I heard such a chatterin', and laughin', and screamin' as I never a'most heerd afore, since I was raised.
"'By the piper that played before Moses! sais Pat, 'I'll stop your chee, chee, cheein' for you, you chatterin' spalpeen of a devil, you'. So he ups with the rifle agin, takes a fair aim at him, shuts both eyes, turns his head round, and fires; and "Bull-Dog," findin' he didn't know how to hold her tight to the shoulder, got mad, and kicked him head over heels, on the broad of his back.
It was after the second day of this watchful waitin', and we're sittin' down to a six-forty-five dinner, when a big racket breaks loose out front. The bell rings four times rapid, Lizzie the maid almost breaks her neck gettin' to the door, and in breezes the runaway pair with all their baggage, chucklin' and chatterin' like a couple of kids.
The dear little critters kept up such an everlastin' almighty clatter, clatter, clatter; jabber, jabber, jabber, all talkin' and chatterin' at once, you couldn't hear no blessed one of them; and they jist fairly stunned a feller. For nothin' in natur', unless it be perpetual motion, can equal a woman's tongue.
"With that I goes to look arter the two pretty galls in the drawin' room; and there was the ladies a chatterin' away like any thing. The moment I came in it was as dumb as a quaker's meetin'. They all hauled up at once, like a stage-coach to an inn-door, from a hand-gallop to a stock still stand.
"I knew you wouldn't need her yet to help with the supper and the longer she stays away the more talk there will be for the rest of us. She is to eat in the kitchen, Lulie, remember that. I WON'T have her chatterin' all through our meal." "She and Zacheus are to eat together," replied Lulie. "It is all settled. Now if Nelson will only come.
He was in a fitful slumber when Mrs. Baker called her husband to supper. The meal was anything but a cheerful one. They talked but little. Over the home, ordinarily so cheerful, had settled a gloom that weighed upon them. "My! my!" sighed Captain Hiram, "how lonesome it seems without him chatterin' and racketin' sound. Seems darker'n usual, as if there was a shadow on the place."
"Ow, weel-a-weel," says Sandy, gey dour-like he's as bucksturdie as a mule when he tak's't in's heid "but we're no' deid yet, an' we'll mibby manish to garr some fowk winder yet, when a's dune. What's been dune afore can be dune again; the speerit o' Bannockburn's no' de'ed oot a'thegither." But I left the cratur chatterin' awa' till himsel', an' ran but to sair some fowk i' the shop.
We sit chirpin' and chatterin' of times that's gone, and live twice over, Pole and myself; and I'm used to 'm; and I was soft to 'm when he was a merry buck, and you cradle lumber in ideas, mind! for my vartue was always un'mpeach'ble. That's just the reason. So, come, and let's all be friends, with money in our pockuts; yell find me as much of a garl as army of ye.
Then they know we got just about the richest mine in Arizona! I says, with my teeth chatterin' so that I stammers. 'Gosh, no! Else the coyotes would be pickin' your bones, says Pete. 'They know you've got some rich ore, but they figure it to be some narrow, pinchin', piddlin' little vein somewheres. How can they guess you found a solid mountain of the stuff?
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