United States or Mauritania ? Vote for the TOP Country of the Week !
Th' Prisidint has ordhered th' lady to marry th' Chink. 'Th' Hoop-la Theatre was closed last night on complaint iv th' Jap'nese ambassadure that th' Fluff Opry Comp'ny was givin' a riprisintation iv Jap'nese charackter in pink robes instead iv th' seemly black derby hats, a size too large, Prince Albert coats, pear-colored pants, button shoes, sthring neckties, an' spectacles which is th' well-known unyform iv th' gloryous race.
"Every syllable of it, and a quantity moor that has slipped my memory," answered the Irishman, who was inventing, but who fancied he was committing a very pious fraud "'Twould have done the Missuses heart good to have listened to the majjor, who spoke more in the charackter of a praist, like, than in that of a souldier."
"It begins," said O'Connor, in a slightly hesitating tone, "with some expressions of a a raither endearin' charackter, that perhaps I may as well pass." "No, no," shouted the men, "let's have them all. Out with them, Paddy!" "Well, well, av ye will have them, here they be.
If Julius Caysar was alive to-day he'd be doin' a lockstep down in Joliet. He was a corner loafer in his youth an' a robber in his old age. He busted into churches, fooled ar-round with other men's wives, curled his hair with a poker an' smelled iv perfumery like a Saturday night car. An' his wife was a suspicyous charackter an' he turned her away.
"That was tellings, M'riar," said Uncle Mo. "But it don't make any odds, that I can see. Look ye here, young Micky! What was it this charackter said about coming here this afternoon?" "Werry first words I heard him say! 'No safety like a thick fog, he says. 'And I'll pay her a visit this very arternoon, he says. Only he won't! You may take that off me, like Gospel."
No, sir, whin our people grab hands at th' altar, they're hooked up f'river. There's on'y wan decree iv divoorce that th' neighbors will recognize, an' that's th' wan that entitles ye to ride just behind th' pall bearers. That's why I'm a batch. 'Tis th' fine skylark iv a timprary husband I'd make, bringin' home a new wife ivry Foorth iv July an' dischargin' th' old wan without a charackter.
'Twas th' dhream iv me life to have people say as I wint by: 'There goes Dooley, th' gr-reatest statesman iv his age, an' have thim name babies, sthreets, schools, canal boats, an' five-cent seegars afther me, an' whin I died to have it put in th' books that 'at this critical peeryod in th' history of America there was need iv a man who combined strenth iv charackter with love iv counthry.
There's a good man. I say he's a good man. An' he is, too. At anny thrick fr'm shingles to two-be-fours he's as good as th' best. But no wan apprechated Alger. No wan undherstud him. No wan even thried to. Day be day he published th' private letters iv other people, an' that didn't throw anny light on his charackter.
This man, you see, had been chained to another like himself, and his bias went to one side like a horse that has gone in harness. This gait is known in the class he belonged to as the "darby-roll," from the name by which fetters are often spoken of. "How long has that charackter been makin' the Court stink, young Carrots?" said Uncle Moses to Michael. "Afore you come up, Mr. Moses."
'He's a r-rough-lookin' charackter that was in th' Soo war, he says. 'His name is Gin'ral Fiteum, he says. 'Throw th' stiff out, says Mack. 'I seen him in Pinnsylvania Avnoo yisterdah, r-ridin' in a sthreet ca-ar, he says. 'Ah, Willie, me boy, he says, ''tis little ye know what throuble I have fr'm these vulgar sojers with pants that bags at th' knees.
Word Of The Day