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Updated: June 15, 2025
Who the deuce is Herbert Parker?" "Parker? Father's valet's name was Parker. The one he dismissed when he found he was wearing his shirts." "Do you mean to say any reasonable chappie would willingly wear the sort of shirts your father ? I mean to say, there must have been some mistake." "Do read the letter. I expect he wants to use your influence with father to have him taken back."
"It's a funny thing," he said. "Like waking up after you've been asleep. Everything seems to be getting clearer. The dog's name was Marie. My wife's dog, you know. And she had a mole on her chin." "The dog?" "No. My wife. Little beast! She bit me in the leg once." "Your wife?" "No. The dog. Good Lord!" said the Sausage Chappie. Archie looked up and followed his gaze.
Here a chappie with no chin, and a moustache like a lady's eyebrow, came and asked for a curiously compounded drink, and Arabella was obliged to go and attend to him. "We can't talk here," she said, stepping back a moment. "Can't you wait till nine? Say yes, and don't be a fool. I can get off duty two hours sooner than usual, if I ask. I am not living in the house at present."
Man, the chappie wi' the nickerbuckers got up in an awfu' pavey, an' misca'ed Sandy for a' the vagues you never heard the like! "Look ye hear, my bit birkie," says Sandy, gien a gey wild-like wink wi' his richt e'e, "you speak when ye're spoken till!
I had a letter of introduction to this chappie Pilkington who's running this show, and, we having got tolerably pally in the last few days, I went to him and asked him to let me join the merry throng. I said I didn't want any money and the little bit of work I would do wouldn't make any difference, so he said 'Right ho! or words to that effect, and here I am." "But why?
It was one of those massive parcels and looked as if it had enough in it to keep the chappie busy for a year.
It's a long story, and I haven't time to tell you now, but the point is that he wanted me to wear the Longacre as worn by John Drew when I had set my heart on the Country Gentleman as worn by another famous actor chappie and the end of the matter was that, after a rather painful scene, I bought the Country Gentleman.
All day a faint odor of violets clung to him and spread itself subtly about the counting-house, and the fellows noticed it and sniffed. And, oh, how they chaffed him. "Um-m-m. You been rolling in a bed of violets, Ranny?" And "Oo-ooh, what price violets?" And "You might tell us her name, old chappie, if you won't give the address." Till his life was a burden to him.
"You know," pursued Reggie seriously, "I think you are making the bloomer of a lifetime over this hat-swatting chappie. You've misjudged him. He's a first-rate sort. Take it from me! Nobody could have got out of the bunker at the fifteenth hole better than he did. If you'll take my advice, you'll conciliate the feller. A really first-class golfer is what you need in the family.
They want as many of us as they can catch, you know, to show to their blessed emperor as a proof of their having licked us again, and `wiped out' all the red devils that's what Yangkei-tze, means, `red devils, though it sounds very like Yankee! Ain't that so, old chappie, and don't you agree?"
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