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Updated: June 13, 2025
"No, sir; th' ladies ar-re not to blame. They've always thried to reform man, an' they haven't yet got onto th' fact that maybe he's not worth reformin'. They don't undherstan' why a man shud be allowed to pizen himsilf into th' belief that he amounts to something, but thin they don't undherstand man.
Don't marry a man with the notion of reformin' him or because he seems to you romantic. You have lots of sense. You'll use it, won't you?" he pleaded. "I'll try to use it, Billie," she promised. Then, the soft eyes shining and the color still high in her cheeks, she added impulsively: "I don't know anybody that needs some one to love him more than that poor boy does." "Mebbeso.
I pitcht my tent in a small town in Injianny one day last seeson, & while I was standin at the dore takin money, a deppytashun of ladies came up & sed they wos members of the Bunkumville Female Moral Reformin & Wimin's Rite's Associashun, and thay axed me if they cood go in without payin. "Not exactly," sez I, "but you can pay without goin in."
"'When I die, he says to me, 'if I go to the bad place I may start in reformin' that. It don't need it no more'n South Orham does, but 'twill be enough sight easier job. "And," concluded Captain Stitt, as soon as he could be heard above the "Haw! haws!" caused by the Honorable Holway's final summing-up of his native town, "I ain't so sure that he was greatly mistook. What do you think, Sol?"
If I git it I want to go and blow it in. I don't want you to hand me a roll an' then start any reformin' stunt a-holdin' of it in trust an' a probation officer a-pussyfootin' me, or any funny business. I want the wad an' a clear road to the bright lights, with no word passed along to pinch me. Do I git it? "'It's a trade! I said. "'O. K., he answered, and he took up the bucket.
She shook her head and stepped out briskly. After a little while he revived. 'I hope ye'll like it, Christina. It's got pearls on it. I hope it'll fit ye. A long pause. 'I wish ye wud say something. 'What'll I say? 'Onything. I never heard ye dumb afore. 'Maybe I'm reformin'. 'Christina! 'That's ma name, but ye needna tell everybody. 'Dinna tease. We we ha'e awfu' little time.
I have held up a train to hear what the passengers would say, but lackin' the advantages that has doubtless been yours, I duck when it comes to reformin' Heaven. "'It struck me with the force of a revelation when I arrived at your glowin' mertroppollus this afternoon that to make any human bein', particlerly children, forget for a time that they lived in Oggsouash was a religious duty.
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