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Updated: May 25, 2025
In consequence of these sufferings Clover hated curls, and when she "made up" stories for the younger children, they always commenced: "The hair of the beautiful princess was as straight as a yard-stick, and she never did it up in papers never!" Sunday always began with a Bible story, followed by a breakfast of baked beans, which two things were much tangled up together in Philly's mind.
"What things, Sir?" demanded the appalled boy. "Why, getting the yard-stick when I winked to you not to find it, and telling of other cases when I said that one was the last." "Why, Sir, because it wasn't the last," said the boy. "For business purposes it was the last, Sir," replied Mr. Newt. "You don't know the first principles of business. The tongue is always the mischief-maker.
There came Roly-Poly, long known to all Yama a tall, thin, red-nosed, gray old man, in the uniform of a forest ranger, in high boots, with a wooden yard-stick always sticking out of his side-pocket.
"A store, indeed!" cried the young lady; "pomatum on your hair, and a grin on your face; snip, snip, snip, calico, ribbons, yard-stick; 'It's very becoming, miss, that color; this is only a sample, only a remnant, but I shall have a new stock in by Friday; anything else, ma'am, today? Sho! Philip, for a man!"
Newt's face underwent a series of expressions of subdued anger and disgust. "Now, then," said Mr. Hadley, laying the yard-stick upon the calicoes; "yes, as I thought, seven-eighths; too narrow sorry." There were thirty cases of those goods in the loft. Boniface Newt groaned in soul. The unconscious small boy, who had not understood the peculiar look, and had brought the yard-stick, stood by. "Mr.
They cluster around the mechanic's hammer, and blossom from the end of the merchant's yard-stick, and sit in the doors of churches. Some call them "fiction." Some style them "fabrication."
He stood at the one space that was kept cleared on his counter, hairy fists on the brown, hacked plank the notches of the yard-stick and fathom-stick cut with a jackknife on its edge his pale eyes sparkling as he talked. "There she wallered," went on the narrator of maritime disaster, "her cargo held together by rotting sheathing and straining ribs.
Wha's yer yard-stick, ole debbil? Den Meshach he say, 'De hat I tuk it in wid, done gone burnt by dat ole Hominy, makin' of her puddin's. 'Den, says de Judge, 'ye ain't measured me squar. I won't play. Take it all back! Chillen, we must git dat ar ole hat, or de slave-buyers done take us all."
To torture the Muses to madness, to wire-draw poetry through inextricable coils of difficult rhymes and impossible measures; to hammer one golden grain of wit into a sheet of infinite platitude, with frightful ingenuity to construct ponderous anagrams and preternatural acrostics, to dazzle the vulgar eye with tawdry costumes, and to tickle the vulgar ear with virulent personalities, were tendencies which perhaps smacked of the hammer, the yard-stick and the pincers, and gave sufficient proof, had proof been necessary, that literature is not one of the mechanical arts, and that poetry can not be manufactured to a profit by joint stock companies.
But one must shoot at this creature once, if he wishes to see him throw his heart into his heels, and do the best he knows how. He is frightened clear through, now, and he lays his long ears down on his back, straightens himself out like a yard-stick every spring he makes, and scatters miles behind him with an easy indifference that is enchanting.
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