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Updated: May 4, 2025
Furgit yer old frinds maybe ye wudden't do ud if ye knewn everythin'. But that's rright; that's the way with min." She suddenly changed to subdued earnestness, turned the catch of the door, and, as the door swung open, said: "Come, if ud's only fur a bit o' the way if ud's only fur a ming-ute. I've got somethin' to tell ye." "I must get out at Washington Market," said Richling, as he got in.
As token iv their grief th' Cab'net waited on th' Jap'nese embassy at dinner to-night an' Admiral Bob Evans has been ordhered to sink th' battle ship Louisyanny an' carry Gin'ral Kroky's hat box to th' deepo. "An' so it goes. I'm in a state iv alarum all th' time. In th' good old days we wudden't have thought life was worth livin' if we cudden't insult a foreigner. That's what they were f'r.
"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I see they've been holdin' a Divoorce Congress." "What's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "Ye wudden't know," said Mr. Dooley. "Divoorce is th' on'y luxury supplied be th' law that we don't injye in Ar-rchey Road. Up here whin a marrid couple get to th' pint where 'tis impossible f'r thim to go on livin' together they go on livin' together.
Half th' neighborhood 'd be out on th' sidewalk yellin' 'Lift it, Felix, lift an' scatther it. Shall fade fr'm me ha-a-rt, lift it, ye clumsy piper. "A few months back th' stupid gawk begun to be attintive to Molly Donahue, an', like th' wild wan she is, she dhrew him on. Did ye iver see th' wan that wudden't? Faith, they're all alike.
He's predicted ivry war that has happened in our time and eight thousand that haven't happened to happen. If he had his way th' United States navy wud be so big that there wudden't be room f'r a young fellow to row his girl in Union Park. He can see a war cloud where I can't see annything but somebody cookin' his dinner or lightin' his pipe.
"F'rm this counthry," said Mr. Dooley. "I shud think," Mr. Hennessy protested stoutly, "if he's ashamed iv this counthry he wudden't want to take money f'rm it." "That's where ye're wrong," Mr. Dooley replied. "Take money annywhere ye find it. I'd take money f'rm England, much as I despise that formerly haughty but now dejected land, if I cud get anny from there.
Dooley. "Since th' Czar iv Rooshia inthrajooced his no-fight risolution, they'se been no chanst that they wudden't be ructious." "An' what's it all about?" demanded Mr. Hennessy. "I can't make head nor tail iv it at all, at all." "Well ye see 'tis this way," said Mr. Dooley. "Ye see th' Boers is a simple, pasthral people that goes about their business in their own way, raisin' hell with ivrybody.
It wudden't do anny gr-reat harm if a man cudden't be illicted to office onless he kept his hair combed an' blacked his boots an' shaved his chin wanst a month. Annyhow, as Hogan says, I care not who casts th' votes iv me counthry so long as we can hold th' offices. An' there's on'y wan way to keep the women out iv office, an' that's to give thim a vote." "This here pa-aper says," said Mr.
Ye'd betther take it over to th' dhrug sthore an' have it filled ye'ersilf. In th' manetime I'd advise ye to be careful iv ye'er dite. I wudden't ate annything with glass or a large percintage iv plasther iv Paris in it. An' he goes away to write his bill. "I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription.
'But 'tis too late to do annything with me. An' I don't care. It may hurt me in th' eyes iv me fellow counthrymen, but look at th' fun I get out iv it. I wudden't thrade th' injanyous wicked people an' th' saints that I see f'r all th' poor, dull, half-an'-half crathers that ye find in th' wurruld, says he. "An' there ye ar-re.
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