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Updated: June 15, 2025
As a result, both his paternal English and his maternal French completely failed him in giving an outlet to his feelings, and he started to swear in German. As the longer and heavier words of Teutonic profanity came from his lips, I quietly unlocked the door, and motioning to Uncle Tooter, we both tiptoed out of the room and started downstairs, leaving Holmes to his devotions.
And before I could prevent him, the hardened old "coke"-fiend had pulled out his famous needle and inoculated himself again in the arm with the poisonous cocaine, and right in front of all the five people in the library, too, the Earl, Thorneycroft, Launcelot, Tooter, and Hicks, who stared at him as if he were a dime-museum freak; which indeed he was, to a certain extent.
My marvelous partner told the gaping quintette, composed of the Earl, Tooter, Thorneycroft, Launcelot, and Hicks, how he had pried the third cuff-button out of Her Ladyship, and when he had finished the Earl rang for Donald MacTavish, the second footman, and sent him after the Countess.
Here, take my hunting shirt and cap, and give me your blanket and hat. You must trust me with the book and spectacles, as well as the tooter, too; if we ever meet again, in better times, you shall have all back again, with many thanks into the bargain."
Be advised in time now, George." And Holmes quietly pushed Uncle Tooter into a Turkish rocker back of him, and walked serenely out of the room, his cocky old head in the air, and with me trailing humbly along behind him, because it had become the usual thing with me.
"Which is an infernal lie, and I can prove it!" shouted Tooter. "And you have been accused inferentially by the Earl of possible guilt in connection with the theft also, owing to your occasional lapses from sobriety, which is rather a polite way of putting it," went on the unperturbed Holmes. "By the way, I'll just trouble you for that little package you slid into your left trousers-pocket there."
Tooter flushed with embarrassment, and refused point-blank. "Watson, lock the door, and put the key in your pocket!" yelled Holmes.
Holmes immediately pounced on it, picked it up, and started to open it, but suddenly his jaw dropped, his face showed deep disappointment, and he angrily confronted Tooter. "Say, what in thunder are you trying to pull off here, anyhow? This is a sample package of your confounded 'Tooter's Best Teas, Imported From Ceylon. It's not one of the diamond cuff-buttons at all!" he cried.
Launcelot, Uncle Tooter, Budd, Hicks and Thorneycroft here crowded themselves into the room and, on seeing what had happened, added to the general buzz of excited exclamations; but Holmes took command of the situation, like the old hand that he was, entirely used to such gruesome sights, and stepped to the telephone on a small table in one corner of the Earl's room.
"Well, Tooter, by George, I'm surprised at you," he commented sarcastically; "to think that at your advanced age, and you must be pretty well up in the fifties, you'd fall for the sweet-love-in-the-springtime stuff that gets the younger people, and that you'd engage yourself in marriage with a servant, too, and one who had previously refused you a couple of times.
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