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Updated: June 14, 2025
His political enemies declared in disgust that he had no redeeming vices. He was a teetotaler, and yet the champion of the saloon and the idol of the saloon-keepers' association. He did not smoke or gamble, and was never known to call on a woman except as a business duty. In his profession he was honest, dignified, purposeful and successful.
And he did actually serve through the whole ten weeks, and got the $500; remarking, as he pocketed the cash, "Barnum, it's too bad you're a teetotaler, for I'd like to stand treat with you on this." When Adams set out on this last tour, Barnum had a fine new hunting-suit made of beaver-skins.
There was not a cigar in England when Burns or Tom Moore lived. I have seen a life-size picture of Abraham Lincoln advertising cigars, when Lincoln was a teetotaler from cigars or any intoxicating drink. He promised his mother that he would never use them and kept his promise to his death. This is slandering the dead. I never remember seeing the "Grant Cigar". He died with tobacco cancer.
A man in Connecticut had barrels of whiskey in a cellar for many years, but the State was allowed to pass a law prohibiting its sale; which, of course, had he been a teetotaler, would have deprived that property of all value, and in any case, of all exchange value. A man in Iowa owns one glass of whiskey for several years, and then a law is passed forbidding him to sell it; the law is valid.
The chairman inquired, and then reported: "We have made an unfortunate mistake, gentlemen. I find that the Count Angelo Capello is opposed to our creed is a teetotaler, in fact, and was not intending to apply for membership with us. He desires that we reconsider the vote by which he was elected. What is the pleasure of the house?"
A young teetotaler plays the organ in church now, and plays it very well; though 'tis not quite such good music as in old times, because the organ is one of them that go with a winch, and the young teetotaler says he can't always throw the proper feeling into the tune without wellnigh working his arms off. 'Why did they make the change, then?
There is no need to be a fanatic, there is no need even to be a teetotaler, in order to satisfy oneself that here is a crying abuse which is ruining the unwarned and the unprotected up and down the land, and which is quite definitely and obviously within the capacity of legislation to control effectively and finally.
Nay, Jane dear, you mustn't fret; it'll all turn out well in the end. There's One as loves us both, better than Sir Lionel and his lady, and he'll make all straight sooner or later. "Now, you must know, sir, as I'd come back from the north a teetotaler.
He wasn't afire; modern clothing doesn't flame up but it can get pretty hot when you splash liquid copper on it. "Damn!" said Mike the Angel. "New suit, too." "You're a fast thinker, laddie," said Old Harry. "You don't need to flatter me, Harry," said Mike the Angel. "When an old teetotaler like you asks a man if he's brought some scotch, the man's a fool if he doesn't know there's trouble afoot."
They raised their glasses silently. "Now that you're past the worst of it," remarked O'Neil, "I suppose you'll turn in. You're getting old for a hard run like this, Johnny." Captain Brennan snorted. "Old? I'm a better man than you, yet. I'm a teetotaler, that's why. I discovered long ago that salt water and whiskey don't mix." O'Neil stretched himself out in one of Brennan's easy-chairs.
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