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Updated: June 24, 2025
He became aware of the prices of things to eat, and was taught the relative virtues of nutriment. Perforce a vegetarian, he found that a vegetable diet was good for his health, and delivered to himself many a scornful speech on the habits of the carnivorous multitude. He of necessity abjured alcohols, and straightway longed to utter his testimony on a teetotal platform.
"If I simply give 'em my candid opinion of the drunken fellow's character," said Jack, "no one will dream for an instant we're supposed to be friends." "They may guess we're near relations however, old fellow," I suggested. Sir Francis guffawed. "I wonder if Roger will be as witty after a few weeks teetotal diet?" he chuckled. "Mind you, Roger, you've got to play the game properly.
"I ain't never tasted a drop o' beer in my natural. Born an' bred teetotal, that's wot I was, and don't yew forget it, neither." "Blake," said the Reverend, "that's not the truth." "Call me a drunkard, do yer?" replied Blake. "Go on. Say it again. Say I'm a blarsted liar, won't yer? Orlright, then I shall run away." And with that he wrenched himself away from me and set off towards the Circus.
By the aid of cunning architects he had first blasted his harbour into shape, then built his hotels and pleasure-palaces, and then leased them to dependants of his who knew the right sort of people, and who knew that it was as much as their lease was worth to find accommodation for teetotal amateur photographers or wistful wandering Sunday-school treats.
There was a flaw somewhere in the argument, but I only said, "'Valeat quantum valere potest." Bez looked solemn; a little Latin goes a long way with some people. He was an object of charity, and I made him feel it. "In the first place this tent is teetotal. No grog is to come inside it. There is to be no mining partnership. You can keep all the gold you get, and I shall do the same.
"I didn't know your name, you see, because Rector never introduced me yesterday. I kep' my promise, Mr Westray, and bin teetotal ever since; but he never put the p'leece on the track, for he was took with a stroke next morning early, and died a fortnight later.
The very test adopted has all the servile implication; the test of what we can get out of him, instead of the test of what he can get out of life. Mr. Campbell is reported to have suggested, doubtless rather as a conjecture than a prophecy, that England may find it necessary to become teetotal in order to compete commercially with the efficiency and economy of teetotal America.
Happily, owing to the unaccountable delay of a provision boat, there was not a glass of "fire-water" in the place at that time. The whole affair was got up, carried on, and concluded on tea. It was a great teetotal gathering, which would have drawn tears of joy from the heart of Father Mathew and all his successors, whether Romanist or Protestant, had they witnessed it.
'Turned teetotal, 'ave you? inquired Hu'sh. 'I'm agreeable. About time, eh? Bloomin' nearly lost another ship, I fancy. He took out a bottle and began calmly to burst the wire with the spike of a corkscrew. 'Do you hear me speak? cried Davis. 'I suppose I do. You speak loud enough, said Huish. 'The trouble is that I don't care. Herrick plucked the captain's sleeve.
Indeed, my case had the special strength that the half-pint quadruped underwent as much suffering as the half-gallon quadruped. Moral: total abstinence from horseflesh through the whole length and breadth of the scale. This pledge will be in course of administration to all teetotal processionists, not pedestrians, at the publishing office of 'All the Year Round, on the 1st day of April, 1870.
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