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Updated: June 15, 2025
"Of course they haven't killed him; for that would have sp'iled their game.
Wife an' me we fully agree upon one p'int, 'n' that is, thet mo' childern 'r' sp'iled thoo bein' crossed an' hindered 'n any other way. Why, sir, them we 've see' grow up roun' this country hev been fed on daily rations of "dont's!" an' "stops!" an' "quits!" an' most of 'em brought up by hand at that! An' so, ez I say, we don't never cross Sonny, useless.
I've had my pleasant trespasses in the past, but when I look backward on 'em now, to save my life, I can't remember anything about 'em but some small painful mishap that al'ays went along with 'em an' sp'iled the pleasure. Thar was the evening I dressed up in my best clothes an' ran off to Applegate to take a yellow haired circus lady, in pink skirts, out to supper.
"`Oh, we kin git at your stores easy enough, says he, when the water's pumped out. `They'll be mostly sp'iled, says I. `That don't matter' says he. `Men'll eat anything when they can't git nothin' else. An' with that he left me to think it over.
Gracie she was a little thing then, and, bein' the youngest, a little sassy and sp'iled, mebbe had been on a trip to the city, and she'd brought her ma a present of a shoe-buttoner with a handle a full foot long. "'There, ma, she says, laughin' up in her mother's face; 'you was complainin' about the distance it seemed to be to your feet: here's a kind of a telegraft-pole to shorten it a little.
After disposing her stock of personalities among some of her friends, she turned to him. 'That's all, Mr. Charles, except the old sash you used to play with, which I sp'iled from the Hessian officer, the Injin keep that to mind old Anne by, "'Thank you, Anne I'll keep it carefully. But you must not bear malice now, Anne; you must forgive even the Hessians, said Charles.
There's some satisfaction in buryin' a man like that. You feel that what you're doing is appreciated. Lord bless you, so's he got planted before he sp'iled, he was perfectly satisfied; said his relations meant well, perfectly well, but all them preparations was bound to delay the thing more or less, and he didn't wish to be kept layin' around.
"All right I won't," said her father; and Captain Jim laughed and said: "You'd better not put the frying-pan on till you see us a-coming, for with this light wind there's no knowing when we'll get over, and the frizzle might be sp'iled." Then the sail flapped and filled, and off they went over the yellow sea.
Consequence is, there's no glory in it for you. But you can put up a Proclamation, runnin' like this: 'Five hundred dollars reward for capture and return of one Sadler, that committed humiliatin' assault on one Hillary, and sp'iled the stomachs and b'iled the skins of patriotic municipal guardsmen, which shameful person is more'n six feet of iniquity, and his features homely beyond belief, complexion dilapidated, and conscience dyspeptic. Of course, Excellency, there couldn't anybody give you points on a Proclamation.
"What you doin' with it, anyway?" she demanded, elbows jutted ominously; "it's lost a eye, an' a cat got it once an' sp'iled it some, but I treasure it fer reasons o' sentiment, an' if you think you c'n steal it " "Not 'im, ma'am, not 'im!" piped the Old Un from the doorway, "it ain't the pore lad's fault.
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