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Updated: June 11, 2025
'Ha, ha, ha! chuckled Peg, who, on her knees before the fire, was feeding it with fragments of the box, and grinning in most devilish exultation. 'What's that writing about, eh? 'Nothing particular, replied Squeers, tossing it towards her. 'It's only an old lease, as well as I can make out. Throw it in the fire. Mrs Sliderskew complied, and inquired what the next one was.
This possessed him with the idea that, perhaps, Peg Sliderskew had been apprehended for the robbery, and that Mr Squeers, being with her at the time, had been apprehended also, on suspicion of being a confederate.
That would make it quite complete, that would: quite. When he had become restored to his usual condition by these and other comments on his approaching triumph, Arthur Gride put away his book, and, having locked the chest with great caution, descended into the kitchen to warn Peg Sliderskew to bed, and scold her for having afforded such ready admission to a stranger.
Remembering on further cogitation, however, that under any circumstances he must have paid, or handsomely compounded for, Ralph's debt, and being by no means confident that he would have succeeded had he undertaken his enterprise alone, he regained his equanimity, and chattered and mowed over more satisfactory items, until the entrance of Peg Sliderskew interrupted him.
Saying this, and a great deal more, with tipsy profundity and a serio-comic air, and keeping his eye all the time on Mrs Sliderskew, who was unable to hear one word, Mr Squeers concluded by helping himself and passing the bottle: to which Peg did becoming reverence. 'That's the time of day! said Mr Squeers. 'You look twenty pound ten better than you did.
She'll be very cheap to dress and keep, Peg; don't you think she will? 'If you don't let her make a fool of you, she may, returned Peg. 'A fool of ME! exclaimed Arthur. 'Trust your old master not to be fooled by pretty faces, Peg; no, no, no nor by ugly ones neither, Mrs Sliderskew, he softly added by way of soliloquy.
Again Mrs Sliderskew chuckled, but modesty forbade her assenting verbally to the compliment. 'Twenty pound ten better, repeated Mr Squeers, 'than you did that day when I first introduced myself. Don't you know? 'Ah! said Peg, shaking her head, 'but you frightened me that day.
To these were added such considerations as the constant residence of Mr Squeers at a long distance from London, which rendered his association with Mrs Sliderskew a mere masquerading frolic, in which nobody was likely to recognise him, either at the time or afterwards; the impossibility of Ralph's undertaking the task himself, he being already known to her by sight; and various comments on the uncommon tact and experience of Mr Squeers: which would make his overreaching one old woman a mere matter of child's play and amusement.
So, if any more rejected admirers come, they may come through the keyhole. And now I'll go to sleep till half-past five, when I must get up to be married, Peg! With that, he jocularly tapped Mrs Sliderskew under the chin, and appeared, for the moment, inclined to celebrate the close of his bachelor days by imprinting a kiss on her shrivelled lips.
'With a rasher of ham, and an egg made into sauce, and potatoes, and greens, and an apple pudding, Peg, and a little bit of cheese, we shall have a dinner for an emperor. There'll only be she and me and you, Peg, when we've done. 'Don't you complain of the expense afterwards, said Mrs Sliderskew, sulkily.
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