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Updated: October 18, 2025
While unconscious that a secretary in a tabby-gray dress and gold eye-glasses was venturing to appraise her, Miss Joline remarked, in a high, clear voice: "Beastly bore to have to wait, isn't it! I suppose you can rush right in to see Mr. Truax any time you want to, Mrs. Ummmmm." "Schwirtz. Rotten name, isn't it?" Una smiled up condescendingly.
"Well, then, what are you going to make a standard?" asked Mr. Schwirtz, triumphantly. "Well " said Una. "Understan' me; I'm a high-brow myself some ways. I never could stand these cheap magazines. I'd stop the circulation of every last one of them; pass an act of Congress to make every voter read some A-1, high-class, intellectual stuff. I read Rev.
But as breakfast was not ready, her sudden wish to do something magnificent for America turned into what she called a "before-coffee grouch," and she sat on the porch waiting for the bell, and hoping that the conversational Mr. Schwirtz wouldn't come and converse. It was to his glory that he didn't.
Miss Joline stopped kicking her heels and stared at Una as though she might prove to be human, after all. "Oh no, it's a very nice name," she said. "Fancy being called Joline. Now Schwirtz sounds rather like Schenck, and that's one of the smartest of the old names.... Uh, would it be too much trouble to see if Mr. Truax is still engaged?"
Schwirtz to look for her handkerchief, and bring her magazine, and arrange her chair cushions, and take her for a walk to "the Glade." He obeyed breathlessly. Following an old and rutted woodland road to the Glade, they passed a Berkshire abandoned farm a solid house of stone and red timbers, softened by the long grasses that made the orchard a pleasant place.
She realized that poor Ed Schwirtz, puttering about their temporary room in a side-street family hotel, yawning and scratching his head, and presumably comfortable in suspenders over a woolen undershirt she realized that he treasured a joyous memory of their Savannah diversions.
Schwirtz any false modesty in his speech. If Una had made out a list of all the things she considered the most banal or nauseatingly vulgar, she would have included most of the honest fellow's favorite subjects. And at least once a day he mentioned his former wife. At a restaurant dinner he gave a full account of her death, embalming, and funeral.
Sidney, and there was no nervousness in her as she marched out in a twenty-dollar hat and casually said, "Let's go to the Waldorf it's convenient and not at all bad." On the way over Mr. Sidney fairly massaged his head with his agitated derby cocked it over one eye and pushed it back to the crown of his head in his efforts to find out what and why was Mrs. Una Schwirtz. He kept appraising her.
"Oh, I wouldn't care now if he had just been gentle, been considerate.... Oh, Ed is good; he does mean to care for me and give me a good time, but " When they returned to New York, Mr. Schwirtz said, robustly: "Well, little old trip made consid'able hole in my wad. I'm clean busted. Down to one hundred bucks in the bank." "Why, I thought you were several thousand ahead!" "Oh oh!
Starr and Miss Vincent though in their case we would have been justified." "Yes, bet they were engaged. Oh, say, did I tell you about the first day I came here, and Starr took me aside, and says he " In their hour-long talks Mr. Schwirtz had not told much about himself, though of his business he had talked often.
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