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Updated: June 28, 2025
"Mother of Moses, sir! don't you see I'm ruined?" "By no means but you must not swear. I pay over the money for your scrip, and you pocket a premium. It seems to me a very simple transaction." "But I tell you I haven't got the scrip!" cried Sawley, gnashing his teeth, whilst the cold beads of perspiration gathered largely on his brow. "That is very unfortunate! Have you lost it?"
Selina, who is a sensible girl, has serious qualms on the subject." "Then why not get out of it? I have no objection to run the risk, and if you like to transact with me, I will pay you ready money for every share you have at the present market price." Sawley writhed uneasily in his chair. "Will you sell me five hundred, Mr. Sawley? Say the word and it is a bargain."
But I never was the man to press heavily on a friend" here Sawley brightened up. "Your secret is safe with me, and it shall be your own fault if it reaches the ears of the Session. Pay me over the difference at the present market price, and I release you of your obligation." "Then I'm in the Gazette, that's all," said Sawley, doggedly, "and a wife and nine beautiful babes upon the parish!
"Now, Mr Sawley," said I, "I may be blamed by worldly-minded persons for what I am going to do; but I am a man of principle, and feel deeply for the situation of your amiable wife and family. I bear no malice, though it is quite clear that you intended to make me the sufferer. Pay me fifteen thousand over the counter, and we cry quits for ever." "Won't you take Camlachie Cemetery shares?
"My daughter Miss Selina Sawley." I felt in my brain the scorching glance of the two darkest eyes it ever was my fortune to behold, as the beauteous Selina looked up from the perusal of her handkerchief hem.
Dunshunner I'm one, and you've done it!" "Mr. Sawley! Are you in your senses?" "That depends on circumstances. Haven't you been buying stock lately?" "I am glad to say I have two thousand Glenmutchkins, I think, and this is the day of delivery." "Well, then, can't you see how the matter stands? It was I who sold them!" "Well!" "Mother of Moses, sir! Don't you see I'm ruined?"
Sawley, with an air of great mystery, informed me that this was a Mr Dalgleish of Raxmathrapple, the representative of an ancient Scottish family who claimed an important heritable office.
Mr Dunshunner! you have been a great stranger at Lykewake Terrace!" "Take a muffin, Mr Sawley. Anything new in the railway world?" "Ah, my dear sir my good Mr Augustus Reginald I wanted to have some serious conversation with you on that very point. I am afraid there is something far wrong indeed in the present state of our stock."
After having delivered this address, Mr Sawley affectionately squeezed the hands of his brother directors, and departed, leaving several of us much overcome.
Sawley, who officiated as our chairman, was kind enough, before parting, to pass a very flattering eulogium upon the excellence and candour of all the preliminary arrangements. The time was fast approaching when the gravestone with the words "HIC OBIT" chiselled upon it would be placed at the head of all the other lines which rejected the grand opportunity of conveying education to the stoker.
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