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Perhaps you think I vent into him like a knife into a Prince's Bay. But I didn't do no such think. I treated him werry perlite, and gin him two dollars, a keg of crackers, and a jar of pickled oysters, on condition he'd go and patronize some other establishment. Keep an eye open for him, Samivel.
'Wot place is this here? whispered the mottled-faced gentleman to the elder Mr. Weller. 'Counsel's Office, replied the executor in a whisper. 'Wot are them gen'l'men a-settin' behind the counters? asked the hoarse coachman. 'Reduced counsels, I s'pose, replied Mr. Weller. 'Ain't they the reduced counsels, Samivel?
'Wery good, Samivel, a dispensation if you like it better, returned Mr. Weller; 'I call it a dispensary, and it's always writ up so, at the places vere they gives you physic for nothin' in your own bottles; that's all. With these words, Mr. Weller refilled and relighted his pipe, and once more summoning up a meditative expression of countenance, continued as follows
Weller, wiping his forehead; 'wery far from it. 'You said you'd speak, replied Sam; 'how should I know you wos done up at the wery beginnin'? 'You might ha' seen I warn't able to start, rejoined his father; 'I'm on the wrong side of the road, and backin' into the palin's, and all manner of unpleasantness, and yet you von't put out a hand to help me. I'm ashamed on you, Samivel.
Weller, shaking his head gravely; 'and wot aggrawates me, Samivel, is to see 'em a-wastin' all their time and labour in making clothes for copper-coloured people as don't want 'em, and taking no notice of flesh-coloured Christians as do. If I'd my vay, Samivel, I'd just stick some o' these here lazy shepherds behind a heavy wheelbarrow, and run 'em up and down a fourteen-inch-wide plank all day.
'The gov'nor, sir, has drawn out five hundred and thirty pound. 'Reduced counsels, interposed Mr. Weller, senior, in an undertone. 'It don't much matter vether it's reduced counsels, or wot not, said Sam; 'five hundred and thirty pounds is the sum, ain't it? 'All right, Samivel, replied Mr. Weller. 'To vich sum, he has added for the house and bisness
But if my son Samivel vould give me my vay, mum, and only dis-pense vith his MIGHT I wenter to say the vurd? 'What word, Mr. Weller? said the housekeeper, blushing slightly. 'Petticuts, mum, returned that gentleman, laying his hand upon the garments of his grandson.
You will remember the elder Weller's views on the latter subject: "Ven you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but vether its worth while going through so much to learn so little, as the charity boy said ven he got to the end of the alphabet, is a matter o' taste. I rather think it isn't." This reproach cannot be applied to philately.
'And wot's to become o' the bis'ness? inquired Sam. 'The bis'ness, Samivel, replied the old gentleman, 'good-vill, stock, and fixters, vill be sold by private contract; and out o' the money, two hundred pound, agreeable to a rekvest o' your mother-in-law's to me, a little afore she died, vill be invested in your name in What do you call them things agin? 'Wot things? inquired Sam.
The family name depends wery much upon you, Samivel, and I hope you'll do wot's right by it. Upon all little pints o' breedin', I know I may trust you as vell as if it was my own self. So I've only this here one little bit of adwice to give you.
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