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"I'd rather be a brute beast than what I'd be a liberal," he said. "Carrying banners and that! a pig's got more sense. Why, look at our chief engineer they do say he carried a banner with his own 'ands: 'Hooroar for Gladstone! I suppose, or 'Down with the Aristocracy! What 'arm does the aristocracy do? Show me a country any good without one! Not the States; why, it's the 'ome of corruption!
Some of the things that reached my ears I refused to believe the mention of pig's blood for instance, and especially the talk of certain grosser symbols, which the choir boys, it was whispered, had carried about the church in ceremonious procession.
No one was in the street but himself; it belonged only to him, so he boldly seated himself on the pig's back, leaned forward so that his curly head could rest on the head of the animal, and, before he was aware, he fell asleep. It was midnight.
"And pray, Mr Cooper, why has heaven granted you two legs, with joints at the knees, except to enable you to counteract the horizontal deviation? Do you suppose they were meant for nothing but to work round a cask with? Hark, sir, did you take me for a post to scrub your pig's hide against?
"And what is your pig's name?" said Lady Kathleen. "Sure, ma'am, it's Deirdre, but we call her Diddy for short," Eileen answered. All the young gentlemen and ladies laughed. The Twins didn't like to be laughed at they were almost ready to cry. "And why did you call her Deirdre?" asked Lady Kathleen.
Bye-bye, old girl." But the "bye-bye," like the kiss, was premature. The train did not start. "If I get Manners' agency," said Tom, "we'll be on the pig's back. You'll be driving about in a big car with a fur coat on you in the inside of six months." "Be as fascinating as you can, Tom," she said.
"No business success of yours could surprise me," said the Duke blandly, with a faint, ironical smile. M. Gournay-Martin's little pig's eyes danced and sparkled; and the smiles flowed over the distended skin of his face like little ripples over a stagnant pool, reluctantly. It seemed to be too tightly stretched for smiles. "The car's four years old," he said joyfully.
We sat down to table; the covers were removed, and as the midshipmen prophesied, there was plenty of pork mock-turtle soup, made out of a pig's head a boiled leg of pork and peas-pudding a roast spare-rib, with the crackling on sausages and potatoes, and pig's pettitoes.
And, as an evidence of his faith in the pig's talent, Barnum declared the first wonderful feat he intended to perfect him in, was that of sitting in state and presiding over primary meetings; and no man of sound sense would say he had not talent enough for the office.
Thunder rolls, and cracks, and crashes; as if the brazen gates of heaven clashed to and fro. The peasants fly, driving their cattle before them. The pig's run grunting homeward. The helpless lamb is stricken where it stands, crouching in a deep gorge; the little maid sits weeping by. Down beats the hail like pebbles. It strikes upon the vines, scorches and blackens them.
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