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Updated: May 10, 2025
"They were not able to give me exact instructions at the village at least, I cannot remember them." "I ain't no dadfired guide-board to stand here all day and p'int the way to Pharline Pike's," roared Ward, with a heat that astonished the decayed gentleman. "I don't want no elder to go away from this place and report that he wa'n't used respectful," said Sproul, meekly, addressing the stranger.
It's for this day week; no invitations, no cards, no flowers, no one's durnation business. There, take that home and chaw on it. Pharline, let's you and me go into the house." "I reckon there's witnesses enough to make that bindin'," muttered Cap'n Sproul under his breath. He bent forward and tapped the Colonel on the arm as Ward was about to step upon the piazza.
"I'll thank you for a word of direction. But I want to say, as a lowly follower of the Lord in evangelical lines that it is not seemly for two men to quarrel in public." Ward had been gaping at him in amazement. "I can tell ye right now," he cried, "that Miss Pharline Pike ain't hirin' no farm-hand that wears a plug-hat! There ain't no need of your goin' to her place."
You jest tell me, Pharline Pike, what you mean by triflin' in this way?" "Lord knows what it's all about! I don't!" she quavered. "You do know, too!" he yelled. "Don't ye try to pull wool over my eyes! You do know, too!" "It's a turrible thing to be jealous," cooed Cap'n Sproul to his trembling little wife, who had followed at his heels. "I don't know, either," wailed the spinster.
Then you come this way a week from to-day, and you'll see Gideon Ward and Pharline Pike married as tight as a parson can tie the knot. I mean it!" The excitement of the moment, his rage at interference in his affairs, his desire to triumph thus publicly over these strangers, had led him into the declaration. The spinster gasped, but she came to him and trustfully put her hand on his arm.
"Look here, you men," he shouted, his gaze running over plug-hat, swollen nose, seaman's broad face, and the faces of the other suitors, "I'm Gideon Ward, of Smyrna, and I've been engaged to Miss Pharline Pike for fifteen years, and " "Then I don't blame her for changing her mind, ye bloody landlubber!" snorted the seaman, smacking his hand upon his folded paper.
Give me p'ints o' compass, will ye?" Ward leaped to his feet and strode toward the fence, his long legs working like calipers. "What do ye want of Pharline Pike?" he demanded, angrily. "None of your business," replied the cheerful sailor. "If this is the way landlubbers take an honest man's hail, ye're all jest as bad as I've heard ye was." "I'm a mind to cuff your ears," yapped the Colonel.
"If you'd unpinned that mouth of yourn fur enough to tell that tramp that I'm engaged to Pharline Pike," growled Ward, returning to the tree, "I'd 'a' broke in your head and you might as well know it first as last." "Ain't you engaged to her?" "You know I be." "Well, I've allus told the truth all my life and I reckon I shall continner to tell it.
I cal'late ye see now, brother-in-law, that you ain't the only man that appreciates what a good woman Miss Pharlina Pike is." "You come along, Pharline," said the Colonel, taking her arm, after he had bored the Cap'n for a moment with flaming eye.
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