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Updated: May 11, 2025
He must not hope, nor try, nor even long for her now. That one last comfort was taken from him. Well!... He walked about, while the fiercest paroxysm racked him. As some of us in our pain-torments rush to lotion or anodyne, he sought the soothing of the starry night, the cool darkness that had so often brought him peace.
Bernard at her side at the end of this paroxysm, and in a very short time she was hanging upon his neck, sobbing like a child who is reconciled to its mother. Under a date some six months after these indications of Amelia's convalescence, I find a note in my diary, "Dined at Redcleugh with Mr. and Mrs.
"It's the worst I ever had," he said, after a moment "the very worst!" He sat down, and again he had a fit of coughing, and the sweat started out violently upon his forehead and cheek. When his head at last lay back against the chair, the paroxysm over, a little spot of blood showed and spread upon his white lips.
"I had better have a lemon, cut in two," she had said, feeling suddenly stifled with fear. For hours she had lain despairing, watching the slowly swaying walls of her cabin or sinking with closed eyes through invertebrate dipping spaces. Before each releasing paroxysm she told herself "this is like death; one day I shall die, it will be like this."
If I suggest that poor oppressed nature made the most violent struggles, to empty and relieve herself, there will perhaps be more than sufficient of the scene of which I was a spectator conjured up in the imagination. The bishop had been a muscular man, with a frame of uncommon strength; and the paroxysm, though extreme, did not end in death.
The piquant, intelligent, fiery peasant face interested him. It had warmth, natural life and passion. She flushed and stamped her foot, while he laughed heartily; and she was about to say something dangerous, when the laugh suddenly stopped and he began coughing. The paroxysm increased until he strained and caught at his breast with his hand. It seemed as if his chest and throat must burst.
"May I bring Elsie Fay? she's come on the train to stay over Christmas with her aunt. May I, Polly?" begged another girl eagerly. "Yes, yes," said Polly in a paroxysm of fear lest Joel, who was crowding up between them, should catch a word; "do be still," she whispered. "Bring anybody; only stop, Alexia."
Smelts never finished her sentence; a violent paroxysm of pain seized her, and at dawn the messenger that called for the patient on the third floor, following the usual economy practised in Calvary Alley, made one trip serve two purposes and took her also. By the end of the month the epidemic was routed, and the alley, cleansed and chastened as it had never been before, was restored to its own.
But he had seen me! Could it be that he was thinking of? My calmness was giving way. As soon as I spoke, though it was only in a word of ejaculation, my pity for myself broke all the flood-gates down, and I fell on my face in a paroxysm of sobs. A very calm, loving voice, and a strong arm raising me, brought me back at once from the wild ocean of passion on which I was tossing.
And Lettice went off into a paroxysm of sobbing, while Miss Carr realised sorrowfully that she had made a false move. "My dear child, you know very well I don't mean to be cruel. I am too anxious for your happiness.
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