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Updated: June 6, 2025
The very first thing they saw upon entering it was an enormous alligator, fully eighteen feet long, sound asleep on a mud-bank. "Och! put ashore, ye Naygur," cried Barney, seizing his pistol and rising up in the bow of the canoe. The old man complied quickly, for his spirit was high and easily roused.
Faith, we wanted ut, for ivry sowl av the followers ran for the dear life as soon as the thrain stopped; an' by the time that telegrapt was writ, there wasn't a naygur in the station exceptin' the telegrapt-clerk an' he only bekaze he was held down to his chair by the scruff av his sneakin' black neck.
'The non-coms tuk Peg Barney a howlin' handful he was an' in three minutes he was pegged out chin down, tight-dhrawn on his stummick, a tent-peg to each arm an' leg, swearin' fit to turn a naygur white. 'I tuk a peg an' jammed ut into his ugly jaw.
"'Far be it fr'm me to suggist anny but peaceful measures, says Sir Alfred Milner, that's th' lad they have down in Africa, th' Injun agent, 'f'r th' English an' Dutch shud wurruk together like brothers f'r th' removal iv th' naygur popylation, he says, 'but, he says, 'as a brother I politely suggest to ye that if ye don't give us what we want we'll hand ye a fraternal punch! he says.
"I've larned by exparience that ye niver can be puff sure o' nothin' in this puff remarkable country. Jist look at Darkey now," continued the Irishman, sitting down on a stone before the fire, which now began to kindle up, and stuffing the tobacco into his pipe with his little finger. "There he is, a livin' Naygur, aliftin' of the provision-bag out o' the canoe.
They're goin' after fairin's for their sweethearts, the way you'd be yourself if you worn't too great a naygur. Or, maybe, there isn't anythin' good enough for her to be had in Ballybrosna is that the raison of it?"
'Tell us what is wanted ye'ersilf or call in a journeyman who's wurrukin' card is dated this cinchry, I says. 'An' I'm r-right too, Hinnissy." "Well," said Mr. Hennessy, slowly, "those ol' la-ads was level-headed." "Thrue f'r ye," said Mr. Dooley. "But undher th' new iliction laws ye can't vote th' cimitries." The NEGRO PROBLEM "What's goin' to happen to th' naygur?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
The boy, save for a girdle of ti leaves, was naked, and Maurice, anxious and alarmed as he was for his own safety, could not but notice that the young savage seemed terribly excited. 'Let me go, ye black naygur, said Maurice, freeing his hands and striking him in the chest. In an instant the native boy fell upon his knees, and held up his hands, palms outward, in a supplicating gesture.
There seemed to be a chance of massing the party and getting it to some distance before the Indians could turn their thoughts to blood. But the manoeuvre was only in part accomplished when battle commenced. Little Sweeny, finding that his mule was being crowded by an Apache's horse, uttered some indignant yelps. "Och, ye bloody naygur! Get away wid yerself. Get over there where ye b'long."
One Irish "American" was describing to another the glories of a procession which had made night hideous to those not particularly interested in it; and he closed the glowing account by saying, "Oh, it wuz an illigent purrceshin intoirely! Div'l a naygur or a Yankee int' ut!" Doubtless this gentleman would think an election equally illigant in which neither a naygur nor a Yankee presumed to vote.
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