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Updated: May 8, 2025
He was a miserable specimen o' human natur' all the worse that he had a pretty stout body o' his own, an' might have made a fairish man if he'd had the spirit even of a cross-grained rabbit. His name was Miffy, an' it sounded nat'ral to him, for there was no go in him whatever. I often wonder what sitch men was made for. They're o' no use to anybody, an' a nuisance to themselves."
What would you advise me to do with him? 'Well, says I, 'I'll tell you if you won't be miffy with me. 'Miffy with you indeed, said he, 'I guess I'll be very much obliged to you; it ain't every day one gets a chance to consult with a person of your experience; I count it quite a privilege to have the opinion of such an understandin' man as you be. 'Well, says I, 'take a stick and give him a real good quiltin'; jist tantune him like blazes, and set him to work.
Says he, quite miffy like, don't he know the way to Court as well as I do? if I thought he didn't, I'd send one of my niggers to show him the road. I wonder who was his lackey last year, that he wants me to be hisn this time. It don't convene to one of our free and enlightened citizens, to tag arter any man, that's a fact; its too English and too foreign for our glorious institutions.
I wonder you don't show him that respect it wouldn't hurt you one morsel, I guess. Says he, quite miffy like, 'Don't he know the way to court as well as I do? If I thought he didn't, I'd send one of my niggers to show him the road. I wonder who was his lackey last year, that he wants me to be his'n this time.
What would you advise me to do with him? Well, says I, I'll tell you if you won't be miffy with me. Miffy with you indeed, said he, I guess I'll be very much obliged to you; it tante every day one gets a chance to consult with a person of your experience I count it quite a privilege to have the opinion of such an understandin man as you be.
Robert was a little miffy because I hadn't been a mind reader and played Clifford for a favorite from the start. Anyway, he jumps right in to feature him, lugs him off to the club for lunch, and does the honors joyous, just as though this was something he'd been lookin' forward to for months.
"An' what became o' poor Miffy?" asked little Trevor, earnestly. "We took him down with us to a new settlement that had been started in the prairie-land west o' the Blue Mountains, an' there he got a sitooation in a store, but I s'pose he didn't stick to it long. Anyhow that was the last I ever saw of him. Now, boys, it's time to turn in."
You must know that one evening, close upon sundown, we was all returnin' from our traps more or less loaded wi' skins an' meat, all except Miffy, who had gone, as he said, a huntin'. Bin truer if he'd said he meant to go around scarin' the animals. Well, just as we got within a mile o' this place we was set upon by a band o' Redskins. There must have bin a hundred of 'em at least.
"`That's Miffy, says I, feelin' quite excited, for I'd got to have a sneakin' sort o' pity for the miserable critter. `It's a twin roar to the one he gave that day when he mistook Hairy Sam for a grizzly b'ar, an' went up a spruce-fir like a squirrel. Sure enough, in another moment Miffy burst out o' the woods an' came tearin' across the open space straight for the gap, followed by a dozen or more savages.
Miffy was close up at the time. His cheeks was yaller an' his eyes starin' as he came on, but his face turned green and his eyes took to glarin' when he saw what had happened. I saw a kind o' hesitation in his look as he came to the unbridged gulf. The savages, thinkin' no doubt it was all up with him, gave a fiendish yell o' delight. That yell saved the poor ne'er-do-well.
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