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Updated: June 3, 2025
I suspect you find no release even in your dreams, you are so wrapped up in the thing. With all this you must surely get hold of Happiness soon, if indeed you have not found it long ago without telling us. Her. Alas, Lycinus, I am only just beginning to get an inkling of the right way.
The next step will be the application; my questioner will say, Now Lycinus, let us suppose an analogue, in a person acquainted only with the Stoic doctrine, like your friend Hermotimus; he has never travelled in Plato's country, or to Epicurus, or any other land; now, if he were to state that there was no such beauty or truth in those many countries as there is in the Porch and its teaching, would you not be justified in considering it bold of him to give you his opinion about them all, whereas he knew only one, having never set foot outside the bounds of Ethiopia?
Lycinus, I shall now leave him in your charge; teach him better ways, and tell him what are the right words to use. Ly. I will, Sopolis; and thank you for clearing the way. Now, Lexiphanes, listen to me. If you want sincere commendations upon your style, and success with popular audiences, give a wide berth to that sort of stuff.
For his censures, I void my rheum upon them. Sop. What is the matter with him, Lycinus? Ly. Why, this is the matter; don't you hear?
For Heaven's sake, Lycinus, let us leave Plato, Aristotle, Epicurus, and the rest of them alone; to argue with them is not for me. Why not just hold a private inquiry, you and I, whether philosophy is what I say it is? As for the Ethiopians and Gelo's wife, what a long way you have brought them on none of their business! Ly. Away with them, then, if you find their company superfluous.
And we, the common men that walk the earth, shall mingle you with the Gods in our prayers; for you are translated above the clouds, and gone up whither you have so long striven. Her. If but that ascent might be, Lycinus! but it is far yet. Ly. But you have never told me how far, in terms of time. Her. No; for I know not precisely myself.
I have experienced no oblivion of my domestic affairs, nor blindness to my own interests; in fact if I may venture to say so you will find my penetration and practical wisdom considerably increased by my theatrical experiences. Homer has it exactly: the spectator Returns a gladder and a wiser man. Cr. Dear, dear! Yours is a sad case, Lycinus.
Do you suppose his interest in such things is selfish? no, but he has little ones; his care is to save them from indigence. Ly. Whereas he ought to have brought them up to Virtue too, and let them share his inexpensive Happiness. Her. Well, I have no time to argue it, Lycinus; I must not be late for lecture, lest in the end I find myself left behind. Ly.
Now some God brings Plato, Pythagoras, Aristotle, and the rest to life again; they gather round and cross- examine me, or actually sue me in court for constructive defamation; Good Lycinus, they say, what possessed or who induced you to exalt Chrysippus and Zeno at our expense? we are far older established; they are mere creatures of yesterday; yet you never gave us a hearing, nor inquired into our statements at all.
And now do you proceed; my expectations are high. Her. Well, it seems to me perfectly possible, Lycinus, after studying the Stoic doctrines alone, to get at the truth from them, without going through a course of all the others too.
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