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Updated: June 3, 2025
Momus must have been blear-eyed, to have such ideas about men; but you have sharper eyes than Lynceus, and pierce through the chest to what is inside; all is patent to you, not merely any man's wishes and sentiments, but the comparative merits of any pair. Her. You trifle, Lycinus. I made a pious choice, and do not repent it; that is enough for me. Ly.
God forbid! these are words of ill omen, Lycinus; may life be granted me, that I may grow wise, and have if it be but one day of Happiness! Ly. For all these toils will you be content with your one day? Her. Content? yes, or with the briefest moment of it. Ly. But is there indeed Happiness up there and worth all the pains? How can you tell? You have never been up yourself. Her.
I almost hear her uttering the words the historian has put into her mouth, and see her arming her husband and sending him forth to battle. Poly. Ah, my dear Lycinus, this lady has passed you but once, like a lightning flash; and your praises, I perceive, are all for those external charms that strike the eye.
Take care that we do not get convicted of false proportions, and find our statue thrown down by the Stewards. And now I have given you her message. It is for you, Lycinus, to overhaul your work, and by removing these blemishes avoid the offence.
But now, though I could say much more, madam, I must have compassion upon Polystratus's memory, and cease. Poly. I am not so sure I am equal to it, Lycinus, as it is. You have made it long, and exceeded your time limit. However, I will do my best.
Ah, Lycinus, your arguments seem to me more or less logical, but but to be frank with you I hate to hear you going through them and wasting your acuteness.
Yes; once hear her sing, Lycinus, and you will know something of Sirens as well as of Gorgons: you have experienced petrifaction; you will next learn what it is to stand entranced, forgetting country and kindred. Wax will not avail you: her song will penetrate through all; for therein is every grace that Terpsichore, Melpomene, Calliope herself, could inspire.
How much higher and more slippery, pray, is the peak on which your Virtue dwells than that Aornos crag which Alexander stormed in a few days? Her. There is no resemblance, Lycinus; this is not a thing, as you conceive it, to be compassed and captured quickly, though ten thousand Alexanders were to assault it; in that case, the sealers would have been legion.
Providentially, here is an emetic I had just mixed for a bilious patient; here, Lexiphanes, drink it off; the other man can wait; let us purge you of this vocal derangement, and get you a clean bill of health. Come along, down with it; you will feel much easier. Lex. I know not what you would be at, you and Lycinus, with your drenches; I fear me you are more like to end than mend my speech. Ly.
It would be a fine short cut, with no meanderings or wastings of time, if you sent for him, listened to the summaries, and killed a victim at the end of each; by indicating in its liver which is the philosophy for you, the God would save you a pack of troubles. Her. This is buffoonery, Lycinus; I should not have expected it of you. Now tell me, did you ever buy wine? in person, I mean. Ly.
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