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Updated: June 8, 2025
No sooner had I quarrelled with Tarleton than Lady Hasselton received him in my place, and a week afterwards I was favoured with an anonymous letter, informing me of the violent passion which a certain dame de la cour had conceived for me, and requesting me to meet her at an appointed place. Mr. Fielding was with me at the time. "What disturbs you?" said he, adjusting his knee-buckles.
"Hope, sir?" said the Lady Hasselton, covering her face with her fan, so as only to leave me a glimpse of the farthest patch upon her left cheek, "hope, sir?" "Yes, the hope of being pleasing to you. Suffer me to add that the hope has now become certainty." "Upon my word, Count " "Nay, you cannot deny it; if one can once succeed in impudence, one is irresistible."
"Betterton acts to-morrow night," cried the Lady Pratterly: "we must go!" "We must go," cried the Lady Hasselton. "We must go!" cried all. And so passed the time till the puppet-show was over, and my attendance dispensed with. It is a charming thing to be the lover of a lady of the mode! One so honoured does with his hours as a miser with his guineas; namely, nothing but count them!
There is no knowing the blessings of money until one has learned to manage it properly! So much, then, for the friend; now for the mistress. Lady Hasselton had, as Tarleton hinted before, resolved to play me a trick of spite; the reasons of our rupture really were, as I had stated to Tarleton, the mighty effects of little things.
Time, however, cures what it does not kill; and both bird and beast, if they pine not to the death at first, grow tame and acquiescent at last. What to me was the companionship of Tarleton, or the attachment of Lady Hasselton? I had yielded to the one, and I had half eagerly, half scornfully, sought the other.
Oh! what a prodigy wisdom would be, if it were but blest with a memory as keen and constant as that of interest! Struck with the universal excitement, I went to my uncle to inquire the name of the expected guest. My uncle was occupied in fanning the Lady Hasselton, a daughter of one of King Charles's Beauties. He had only time to answer me literally, and without comment; the guest's name was Mr.
"Why, I have promised my uncle a picture of that invaluable countenance which Lady Hasselton finds so handsome; and I am going to give Kneller my last sitting." "So, so, I will accompany you; I like the vain old dog; 'tis a pleasure to hear him admire himself so wittily." "Come, then!" said I, taking up my hat and sword; and, entering Tarleton's carriage, we drove to the painter's abode.
"Oh, the report is universal!" and the Lady Hasselton flirted her fan with the most flattering violence. But who is the bride?" "The Duke of Newcastle's rich daughter, Lady Henrietta Pelham." "What, Harley's object of ambition!* Faith, Madam, the report is not so cruel as I thought for!" * Lord Bolingbroke tells us that it was the main end of Harley's administration to marry his son to this lady.
Powell, and marched into the puppet-show, by the sound of the very bells the perversion of which the good sexton had so pathetically lamented. The first person I saw at the show, and indeed the express person I came to see, was the Lady Hasselton. Tarleton and myself separated for the present, and I repaired to the coquette.
If thou wantest to make love, there are ladies in plenty whom thou needest not to marry. And for my part, I thought that thou wert all in all with the Lady Hasselton: Heaven bless her pretty face! Now don't think I want to scold thee; and don't think thine old uncle harsh, God knows he is not, but my dear, dear boy, this is quite out of the question, and thou must let me hear no more about it.
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