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Updated: June 8, 2025
"I don't see the little page," said he, "who was always in attendance in your anteroom; what the deuce has become of him?" "You must ask his mistress; she has quarrelled with me, and withdrawn both her favour and her messenger." "What! the Lady Hasselton quarrelled with you! / Diable/! Wherefore?"
"I love you too well!" answered the Lady Hasselton in the same tone, and that answer gives an admirable idea of the affection of every coquette! love and confidence with them are qualities that have a natural antipathy, and can never be united. Our tete-a-tete was at an end; the people round us became social, and conversation general.
The Lady Hasselton, no disparagement to her merits, is but one woman; but a French valet who knows his metier arms one for conquest over a thousand;" and I turned to the saloon. Fate, which had destined to me the valuable affections of the Lady Hasselton, granted me also, at a yet earlier period, the greater boon of a French valet.
"Pardon me," said I, "I am nine, a very mystical number nine is too, and represents the Muses, who, you know, were always attendant upon Venus or you, which is the same thing; so you can no more dispense with my company than you can with that of the Graces." "Good morning, Sir William," cried the Lady Hasselton, rising.
Is it not pretty to see those very fine gentlemen imitating bumpkins at a fair, and grinning their best /for a gold ring/! But you need not fear me, Lady Hasselton, my love cannot wander if it would. In the quaint thought of Sidney,* love having once flown to my heart, burned its wings there, and cannot fly away." * In the "Arcadia," that museum of oddities and beauties.
A., who is such an insufferable ass," and mine hostess sends her husband to the Fleet by vying with "that odious Mrs. B., who was always her aversion!" Just in the same manner, no thought disturbed me, in the step I was about to take, half so sorely as the recollection of Lady Hasselton the coquette and Mr. Tarleton the gambler.
"I don't see the little page," said he, "who was always in attendance in your anteroom; what the deuce has become of him?" "You must ask his mistress; she has quarrelled with me, and withdrawn both her favour and her messenger." "What! the Lady Hasselton quarrelled with you! Diable! Wherefore?"
The story was now left for me to tell, not for the Lady Hasselton; and that makes all the difference in the manner a story is told, /me/ narrante, it is de /te/ fabula narratur; /te/ narrante, and it is de /me/ fabula, etc. Poor Lady Hasselton! to be laughed at, and have Tarleton for a lover!
"Angels of grace!" said I, approaching; "and, by the by, before I proceed another word, observe, Lady Hasselton, how appropriate the exclamation is to you! Angels of grace! why, you have moved all your patches one two three six eight as I am a gentleman, from the left side of your cheek to the right! What is the reason of so sudden an emigration?"
But what matters it? you have conquered your love now." "Ay," I said, with a laugh, "I have conquered it, and I am now about to find some other empress of the heart. What think you of the Lady Hasselton? a fair dame and a sprightly. I want nothing but her love to be the most enviable of men, and a French /valet-de-chambre/ to be the most irresistible."
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