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Updated: June 29, 2025
"'You know my profession? says Mrs. Markham. "'No, Ma'am, says I. "'I'm a religious teacher, in a way, says she. 'A medium if you care to call it that. I prefer another name. "'A medium! says I. 'My! I was to a medium last week! "Perhaps you don't see why I done that. 'T was to give her an opening. First move, when you're fakin' on a big scale, is to make dopes out of your servants.
Hence we artificially raise our sides with a black canvas wash-streak to represent extra freeboard; at the same time paddin' out the cover of the forward three-pounder like as if it was a twelve-pounder, an' variously fakin' up the bows of 'er. As you might say, we've took thought an' added a cubic to our stature. It's our len'th that sugars us.
Blake, your girl's the luckiest girl in the world, and I don't care if I have to say it right into your face. If I'd had a chance to develop my mediumship straight from a great vessel of the spirit like that, I wouldn't be fakin' test books, and robbin' card cases, and givin' demonstrations to store girls at a dollar a trance. To learn from Mrs. Markham! She ought to thank God for the chance."
She told me that I was to sit by the door and bring in the names of callers, and if anyone come after eight o'clock, I was to step into the outside hall and get rid of 'em as quick as I could. Now let me tell you, that killed another suspicion. One way, the best way of fakin' in a big house, is to have the maid rob the pockets of people's wraps for letters an' calling cards an' such.
I know you don't like her, and you can't be blamed her keeping your little girl from you! But you must have noticed her voice, how pretty it is if she does talk English fashion. Now that was my first sight into her. Whatever she's done, she's never done materializin', which is just where pure, proved fakin' begins. It's as soft as a girl's.
"Aw," said McGuire, looking intently at Raidler, with a peculiar expression upon his face, "the croaker said I was all right, did he? Said I was fakin', did he? You put him onto me. You t'ought I wasn't sick. You said I was a liar. Say, friend, I talked rough, I know, but I didn't mean most of it. If you felt like I did aw! I forgot I ain't sick, the croaker says.
It 'ud be a spot cash deal, an' me puttin' in a feller to work an' see things right fer me why, I guess there'd be no chance o' you gettin' gay an' fakin' the output. See? I don't guess you're on the crook, but in bizness a feller don't take chances. Y'see I'm pretty bright when it gits to bizness, an', anyway, I don't stand fer no play o' that kind. Get me?"
Lots of times you ain't quite sure whether guessing did it, or spirits. I've glimpsed the ring on a girl's left hand, and right then my voices have said, 'Engaged! Now was it me makin' that voice, or the spirit? I don't know. But when you begin to guess, you find how easy people are how they swallow fakes and cry for more. As sitters go, fakin' gets 'em a lot harder than the real stuff.
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