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Very careful, prudent, precise persons are seldom entertaining in familiar speech. They are like tennis players in too fine clothes. They think more of their costume than of the game. A mania for absolutely correct pronunciation is fatal. The people who are afflicted with this painful ailment are as anxious about their utterance as dyspeptics about their diet.
The burning of fats in the muscles gives the laborer his power. Sugar and starches are the next best things to fat, and that's why we could eat the thick slabs of sweet pie. We relished it well and have burned it all up in our labor in the mills. We came out with that healthy sparkle that dyspeptics never know.
In a second line, farther from the shore, and speculating on the appetite that salt air awakens in dyspeptics, came the more pretentious and the more permanent structures of the restaurants and eating-places, with stairways and verandas, façades of ornate but inexpensive stucco, masking the frailty of such pomp under ostentatious names: The Paris Hotel and Restaurant, The Miramar, The Fonda del Buen Gusto; and between these pedants of summer-time gastronomy, the lunch-rooms of the natives, huts with roofs of matting, rickety tables with wine jugs in the center, and outdoor kitchens, dispensing shell-fish with vinegar dressing from Saint John's day till mid-September, under signs of delightfully capricious spelling: Salvaor and Neleta, wines, bears and likers.
It is usual to berate people of her sort, but they are no more to be blamed than other dyspeptics. Souls, like stomachs, cannot always coordinate appetite and digestion. Kedzie had, however, found a husband who would be permanently precious to her, since she would never be certain of him.
In doing this you will soon find out that roasted and broiled beef or mutton requires a longer trituration than boiled meats or stews; you will also perceive that fish is more easily masticated than meat, and you will finally understand why certain dyspeptics are forced to limit their food to fish, eggs, and milk diet.
His tunes are the herald of the gaudy spring. His are the dancing measures of the sunlight. And is anyone a surer judge of human nature? He allows dyspeptics to slink along the fence. Those of bilious aspect may go their ways unchallenged. Spare me those, he says, who have not music in their souls: they are fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils.
Some, on the contrary, retaining the attitude, have been unable to digest the tonic; they did not prepare their systems as they did their dose, possibly thinking the latter a supererogatory heavy thump on a trifle, the which was performed by them artfully for a means of swallowing and getting that obnoxious trifle well down. These are ever after love's dyspeptics.
PIE FOR DYSPEPTICS. Four tablespoonfuls of oatmeal, one pint of water; let stand for a few hours, or until the meal is swelled. Then add two large apples, pared and sliced, a little salt, one cup of sugar, one tablespoonful of flour. Mix all well together and bake in a buttered dish; makes a most delicious pie, which can be eaten with safety by the sick or well.
Dyspeptics need not fear this "Plum Pudding" and it is rich enough to please the most fastidious. Wishing your philanthropic efforts every success, I am, Very truly yours, Then steam two hours and serve with a hard sauce of butter and fine sugar creamed together, with one well beaten egg and grated nutmeg as a finish. Wholesome, delicious, and extremely simple to prepare.
Hot apple toddies preceded it at such times. In hot weather the precursor was mint julep, ice cold. Yet we were not a company of dyspeptics nor drunkards by the free and full use of earth's abounding mercies we learned not to abuse them.
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